The FastDay Forum

Azureblue, at least you only mentioned scones, you didn't mention TOAST! I'm fine about the scones but if you'd mentioned TOAST I may have been uncontrolable, but, you didn't mention TOAST so I'm O.K. Thank you SO much for not mentioning TOAST!

TML, don't know what's happened to your television, hope it's back soon as the mental picture of you sitting looking at a blank screen is quite sad.

Today we did the hour walk into town, it was early so not too hot and my healing blisters were very grateful for that. We got ourselves sat at a nice bar overlooking the Med, ordered some cold beers and watched the French world go by, great fun. At one point I mentioned that there was a lot of mutton dressed as lamb walking around and he said that he thought there was a lot of silicone dressed as lamb walking around. Oh, plastic chesticles, no thank you, I like my men au natural.

Lunch, as usual, was lovely and it was his turn to ogle the waiting staff, very pretty girls, bring back the boys I say.

There are a couple of toads live in the garden here, not my favourite things, and one of them is so huge you could saddle him up and say 'trot on boy', O.K. a slight exaggeration but he is huge and a small cat would be dwarfed next to him. I refuse to go out after dark in case I bump into him. Anyway, according to my cousin and her husband, toads lay the biggest excrement bundles, in comparison to their size, of any living creature! Just thought I'd share that riviting snippet of information with you all,

Goodnight from Toad Hall,

Ballerina x

[Tracieknits]

I'll bet that toad tastes just like chicken.

LMAO about the silicone chesticles. I thought that was an American foible. Maybe they just go swimming in the sea a lot and don't want to have to carry around a separate flotation device?

Oh, what a horrible thought, roast toad, yuk!!!!! yuk!!!!! Almost as bad as Roast silicone chicken breast, yuk, yuk, yuk!!!!! I'll never get to sleep now unless I think about TOAST!!!!

Ballerina x

Ballerina, it's just a few channels, the rest of them work properly. I wasn't watching them anyway, it's just not the right thing to do.

Wonder how many calories in a toad's leg?!

Watch where you sit in the garden then!!

Loving your holiday memoirs Ballerina, enjoy the rest of your stay.

Hey don't miss the chance he might be a gorgeous hunky Prince, You KNOW what you have to do.

Nessie, thank goodnes I don't eat breakfast or your suggestion would make me heave, although, come to think of it, there is something rather Prince Charles-ish about Mr Toad.

Izzy, thanks for asking, and yes, his 'sore arses' is improving.

Ballerina x

Ballerina re Toads, quite appropriate that they are Crapaud in French!

Hi Madmois, thanks for that, how delightful,crapaud? YES! Could kiss him even less now, yuk, Mr Prince of darkness!

So......I made my first coffee of the day and went outside to drink it in the sun, as you do, when I saw it, a huge Toad load. When I say huge, I really mean HUGE, it seems that they can deposit up to 30% of their body weight in one drop. It took me straight back to my F-Plan diet days, remember those? Another failed diet! I did momentarily wonder if hubs had got caught short and he was responsible for the crapaud (thank you Madmois x )deposit but on closer inspection I saw that the offending article had a curl on the end and I think it is safe to assume that his indoors are not curly. I am NOT making this up, honest, crapaud cr*p has a curly end, I can take a photograph if you don't believe me! I have no idea, and even I am unable to imagine, how it does the curly bit but hey, a great party trick if you can do it. As I gazed in wonder at this unusual offering I realized that, large, full and curly on the ends is how I'd like my hair to be so, if I ever tell you that my hair looks like cr*p you will know exactly what I mean!!

Off for a swim now so, best wishes from all at Toad hall,or as we now say in France, Crapaud Chateau

Ballerina x

See, even the expression "now you;re talking crap" CAN be literate. Just leave it to Ballerina...

Just a thought...do the crapaud swim in your pool too or do they have their own?!!

Oh Granny, yuk, what a thought, I'm going to have to bleach my brain now to get rid of that thought!!!!Actually, I believe frogs of the amphibian sort, not the cheese eating kind, are water things, but toads are dry beasts although he has never made me laugh yet, scream yes, but laugh,NON! !Actually, he terrifies me, my cousin treats him like some sort of family pet and he comes down to the terrace at night and sits with her as she chats to him. If he tries that with me he is likely to get the cast iron frying pan wrapped round his head, I've got it on high alert for just such emergencies. This animal is way outside my fighting weight so unarmed combat with him is out of the question, he could knock a bantam weight into a cocked hat. Some of those tooled up and heavily armed policemen from Paris would be very welcome here, well, their weapons would be welcome, with the odd fireman, oh and a couple of waiters for good measure but not the old geezers from 'Le Train Blue' as I'd have to protect them! Oh dear, this has now turned into another load of nonsense, sorry!

Ballerina x from Chateau Crapaud

He sounds lonely to me, he's obviously missing the chats he had with your cousin.

I agree with Nessie, be a devil, dare you he could turn out to be a hunky waiter, or fireman, or........oh heck getting carried away now.....have another wine for me.

'Have another wine for me'??? Grannyl, what are you on? Actually, that's a good question, what ARE you on because I might like it AND I might like Le Baron Le Great Frog!

No, No, someone wake me up PLEASE, oh, thank you Janeg, I knew that wet fish of yours would come in handy some day,

Ballerina x

I have a vivid imagination....comes with age......sun, sea and Sauvignon B go so well together....don't know where the crapaud comes in tho'!!!