The FastDay Forum

Idon't know where the crapaud comes in tho'!!!

I believe the crapaud stays outside, but perhaps I'm wrong...

Another beautiful day in paradise dawned and I was clearly overawed with the feel good factor so I said to hubs,
"Can I ask you to do something for me that I've never asked another human being to do for me in my whole life, please?" He looked rather shocked, I have to say, then he surveyed his hands and fingers and finally he replied, with a fearful overtone in his voice
"If you're constipated, you'll have to lump it!"
I have to say it was not quite the reply I had anticipated. Life with this man is never boring, sometimes confusing, but never boring. There are days when he makes me laugh so much I feel as though my knickers will never dry, but oops, that's another story!

What I wanted him to do was take a photograph of me, by the pool, in my swimsuit. I've never liked having my picture taken and in recent years my weight has made me even more reluctant to have photographic evidence of my slothful ways recoreded for posterity. I decided that I would, just once, like a photograph of me where I look nice, not too old yet (?), and in case I pile all the weight back on again, even though I know for SURE I will NEVER do that. It would be something to look back on when I'm decrepit, mad and I can bore the other residents in the day room with. He assured me that if I didn't like it he would delete the offending thing before my very eyes and my secret would be safe. He promised faithfully that he would not submit it to any of those famous car magazines that men seem to like, you know the ones, Fiesta, Escort etc., under the heading 'Reader's Wive's...how to make yours go faster'!

So, there we were, a sort of geriatric version of David Bailey and Jean Shrimpton, work our for yourselves which one was which, me feeling daft and him giving me dafter directions, he took his role of world famous international photographer VERY seriously and immersed himself in the persona, sort of,
"Smile darling, your public will love this, now sweetie, do the model legs thing, that's it, beautiful, smile for daddy now, you daft old tart."

It all reminded me a bit of a scene in an old sitcom where someone is taking a photograph and says to the poser, "step back just a little" ..... "but I'll fall in the pool" ...."that's right dear"...

He pressed the shutter, or whatever they have on mobile phones etc and the deed was done, oh dear too late now,....hey, nice photo, legs look quite good, posed well, never knew toads could smile.

Off now to cool down in the pool, have a great day,

Ballerina du Crapaud Chateau

We NEED to see these photos Ballerina, I mean we can see you have beautiful hair and a lovely soft tail, but ....

I'd have to kill you all

Ballerina du Chapaud Chateau

AGOG with anticipation ...!!

Just have to wait until we're all sharing a 5:2 day room and you're passing it round and reminiscing about French waiters!

[carorees]

Now you can't tell us all about the photo shoot without posting the photo...that's just too cruel!

Pleased to see some posts have been removed, disappointed and very upset by them.

Thanks to everyone who has offered advice, encouragement and support over my time in the forum.

Ballerina,
I have just read this thread from start to finish and have to say its one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!! I have laughed until I had tears running down my cheeks and want to thank you for cheering me up!! I hope you have a great time in the rest of your holiday and keep posting!!
Toni x

It does take your mind off food doesn't it?

Definitely miffy! X

I'M BACK,I'M BACK!

Phew, that was a worrying 24 hours, locked out, it must be easier to break into Fort Knox than get onto this site when the server, and I don't mean a hunky waiter, has gone down. I was driving hubs nuts, yet again, it must be what it is like when you go cold turkey trying to kick a habit, I was restless, sweaty, nervy, needed too much wine, teary........mmm lets just say I was nonplussed but my legs, both of them, are remarkably hairfree as a result.

Hubs took me to the little local pattisserie (spelling?) this morning to take my mind off things. We got some lovely baguettes to go with lunch, some croissants and they did the lovliest little cakes, tiny wee things, miniature versions of the indivisual cakes, wow! They are called 'gatteaux de soire' or cakes of the night, how sweet. I've heard of 'ladies of the night' but not their culinary equevalent, how novel and how coincidental that they can both be described as 'tarts'! I can see it now, "'Ere love, can I tempt you wiv me apple dumplings darlin'?" I bet the rhubarb turnovers are interesting. I shall pop back later with tales of food shopping, groan!!

Hi Tdstephens and welcome to my world. Thank you for your kind words so, if you can face reading the start of this holiday you will find it under the heading 'Last Post from Ballerina' You may need a stiff drink before you start but if you do it means that you can then shave at least one of your legs without pain, thanks and happy reading,


Ballerina x

P.S. If you lot think you are going to see me in a swimsuit, think again, mes amies, hee hee might send you one of the pool though, it looks heaps better than I do

Well seeing as Old Nog has had the courage to treat us on his new blog I think the least you could do is treat us to a piccy of you by the pool!

Rushing to Old Nog's Blog now .......

Stuck here with my ankle on ice I don't have to worry about not exercising, am getting a healthy workout from the belly laughing from this post. Glad you are back, bless you Ballerina. I am hopping off to old nog 's blog as curiosity is getting the better of me