The FastDay Forum

For the record, I did not imply that you are a slut.

What I am implying is that you should go for it. Stop thinking for other people. You want to tell him, so tell him.

Don(t worry DomDom I know you didn't imply that I am one

I am learning to be more spontaneous but it's quite a road

He is older than me 16 years older, so it's quite different and exciting and crazy

DomDom and Manderley,

I did not think DomDom implied that ANYONE was a slut, that is not how I read it and I hope no offence was taken by Manderley as I'm sure none was intended. I've got myself into trouble before by assuming that people on here can read my thoughts rather than the words I type, oh and go for it, what's the worst that happen?

Good luck Manderley,

Ballerina x

Manderley I think that I hear what you are saying but I have to agree with some above posts just say it. It will be very scary and you will have to be brave but just say
' just so you know I love you ,I just had to get it out in the open take from that what you will but I'm still here regardless'
You never know he might just need that opening it worked for me and we have been married 19 years this November. Wish you all the luck in the world

Manderley I think you are afraid of spoiling what you have and I can understand that, there is some good advice on here

Manderlay go with your gut instincts and if that's with your hand over his mouth so be it, it doesn't matter who gets there first + you'll probably feel better for being 1st in, you're in love so relax a little more, carry on with the little gestures and say it if he runs then he doesn't deserve you, good luck Sue

You will be looking deep into his eyes when you say 'I love you' I think it will be very very lovely moment for you two sensitive souls.


It's ok for you to say those words first too

Don't worry Ballerina, I understood that he was talking in a more figurative way

I like the idea of "Just so you know....." it doesn't put any pressure, it's simple and effective.

And you're right, gillymary, we are two sensitive souls. He told me this morning that he had an argument with his mum yesterday and he told her that she never loved him and he doesn't love her. It broke my heart.

Thanks to all of you, really, I didn't think I would have so many answers. It will be done this weekend and I promise you I will try to not overthink it

[wildmissus]

When you do it sit astride him so you can see his face and as you say put your hand over his mouth so he doesn't speak. You'll be able to see the look in his face and feel his body reacting. Remind him that it is you that is saying the words and not his ex or his mum and that you don't want him to say anything. Once you've seen and felt his reaction and if appropriate wrap yourself around him to let him know you are going nowhere.

I really feel for you and your OH. My husband and I had a conversation last night about his lack of emotion - he never tells me anything 'nice'. His response was that if he didn't love me he wouldn't be with me..........mmmm, is that good enough!!! We have been married 21 years but he also knows that I had a loveless childhood and 5 years ago my parents decided that they didn't want anything to do with me (and my sister) because I didn't lead my life they wanted me to. My parents came to Nairn on holiday in May and stayed at the caravan park (a 5 minute walk away from my house) and never even bothered to see their grandchildren. ie, my 2 daughters . That is playing on my emotions and all I want from my husband is for him to give he a cuddle and tell me he loves me.

I don't mean to hijack your thread but all I'm trying to get at is that I understand how the past gets intermingle with the present and it can be difficult to to separate it. And yes, women tend to over think things.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

You women do really think a lot about this stuff. I would probably just walk by her, give her a loving spank on the butt and say "I love you honey, there is more in store for tonight"

I can't help being a hopeless romantic.

I am really sorry wildmissus, I know how it is. And don't worry, you can hijack as you want, it's a conversation about love, how to express our own emotions and how it is not so easy to do...

I truly understant what you mean. I have a sister who is 9 years older than me. She never accepted me. Never. She wa cruel and insensitive and one day, 7 years ago, as her children became adults and I could see them on their own, I decided that it was enough and cut all relationship with her. A few years later she decided to banish (yes, banish) my parents because they are not from the same world anymore. You see, she has a lot of money now and my parents are "normal" people so, she ask somebody (because she's too weak to do it herself) to tell them she didn't want to see them or heard from them anymore. Can you imagine that ? My parents who had 2 daughters have only one now.....

The other man I loved was like your husband, he couldn't and still can't express his feelings. We are still talking on a regular basis and when you ask him what he feels he says "I don't know" and it drove me crazy at the time and it hurt me as well.

So yes, I walk on eggs in this relationship because I want it to work, I don't want to make the same mistakes and I know that, when you don't use to feel loved, it can be a bit tricky to have somebody who says "I love you and it will be different with me". Because, you know, everybody says that without really meaning it. Or maybe meaning it the moment they it but not 2 days later....

About your suggestion, are you sure it's wise to say that it's not his mother or his ex who talks but just and and I am different ? it seems to me a bit strange....

You women do really think a lot about this stuff. I would probably just walk by her, give her a loving spank on the butt and say "I love you honey, there is more in store for tonight"

I can't help being a hopeless romantic.

We already do the spanking and he would think I am joking if I did that

I would suggest keeping mothers and exes out of such conversations.

wow this thread is really bringing out some deep seated emotions

You women do really think a lot about this stuff. I would probably just walk by her, give her a loving spank on the butt and say "I love you honey, there is more in store for tonight"

I can't help being a hopeless romantic.

We already do the spanking and he would think I am joking if I did that

The moment you said older man I knew spanking was involved.