The FastDay Forum

Didn't have a particularly good weekend, eating-wise but have had a BAD day today.... no willpower whatsoever so I've undone all last week's good work. I know it relates to a lady at my field who has turned so nasty to me AND Mr and Mrs Yard-owner and has been ordered to leave but has turned round and said "no, I'm not leaving" (what can you do?) She's been an absolute cow and I won't bore you with the minutiae but it basically means that I dread going to the yard at the moment and spending time with my precious boys because I'm worried she will turn up and cause trouble. Dom has told me that if that happens just to get my phone out and start videoing her "as evidence" which would very likely shut her up, but I'm not a confrontational person and I'm a worrier. I can see this dragging on for months whilst she digs in her heels and gets more and more stubborn. Things were supposed to be sorted at the weekend, then today and now it may be the end of the week.... or months.... I feel like the goalposts keep moving and like I'm spiralling out of control... this is such a major part of my life and usually such a joyful area but it has a whacking great black cloud hanging over it at the moment..... and I hate that it has managed to have a knock-on effect to my eating willpower. I don't even want to run at the moment.... it's THAT bad....

(((((((Hugs))))))

I wish I had some advice regarding the horrible woman; I don't, but couldn't just read and run. Hopefully someone will turn up who can offer words of wisdom.

Hope things improve very soon. Chin up, this too shall pass

How about just ignoring her and singing to yourself or as in the film The King and I, whistle a happy tune. There is nothing a bully hates more than being ignored.

Hey Domane

Don't let her (anyone) get you down. Decide it is her that will be more annoyed than you. Change a letter in worrier and you're a warrior. Imagine her in knickers whilst being stupid while you are just being you.

<support>

Hey Domane...don't let some horrid woman spoil your time with your darlings. Just focus on them and ignore her as @Nessie says. I know it's easy to say, but try not to let her worry you. As for the overeating episode, don't be too hard on yourself. We all do that now and again and it helps at the time doesn't it. Don't worry..big hugs

Bean

So sorry to hear things are tough for you right now Domane. It is rotten that some people are so awful & unfair....but luckily, they are the exception to the rule. Please don't let this woman ruin your enjoyment of your horses though - but keep up the pressure to have something done about her ASAP.
I have always used food as a comfort, so fully understand the "pull" towards it whenever you are feeling low. It looks like you have done really brilliantly so far......so cut yourself a little slack right now. You are allowed blips from time to time....

Take care xx

Arghh just wrote a reply and lost it - totally my fault. Feel very sorry for you and understand how this person can get under your skin and affect your life but if you can you need to ignore her while the yardowners sort out getting her off the property. At least you are not alone in this and hopefully they will do something about it unfortunately this some times takes time to be done properly. Sending you hugs and positive vibes xxx

Domane, I read your post the other day about you struggling with carbs etc well you can join me there girl, you are definatly not on your own with putting weight on, I have been struggling since before Christmas, not even my hols coming up on Sat has pulled me out of it so how sad is that. You will come through it. I am going to have a blow out next week and then get down to it again.

Now where is the nasty woman if I lived closer I would get her for you, I hate people like that.

My daughter has horses and no-one would keep her away, so chin up, go and enjoy your time with your boys and ignore the bitch.

Chris x

[wildmissus]

I really feel for you. I always believe that what goes around comes around, so you need to be true to yourself, try and ignore her and let her dig her own hole and try not to worry as you haven't done anything wrong. Oh, how I wish I could live by my own advice! Take care.

On Saturday I was overjoyed because the yard-owners told me they'd seen her true colours so I felt vindicated in that they now understood truly that I wasn't making it up just to try to get rid of her.

Sadly Mr YO goes into hospital tomorrow to have an operation which then needs radiotherapy and chemo so it's serious...... so I don't feel I can put any pressure on them to try to hurry things along to get rid of this person. My lovely hubby said "If she turns up whilst you are there and starts mouthing off, just get your phone out and start videoing her for evidence... that should shut her up quickly!" which I thought was quite inspirational.... trouble is I'm not confrontational at all so I'm more likely to disappear into my little private tack room and hide!!!

oh poor Domane! is this the same nasty piece of work you wrote about once before? Just hang in there sweetie and trust that she will get her comeuppance. xx

@Domane This is so awful and I really feel for you right now because non of us can really help you as we've all got different ideas on how to tackle this dreadful woman I would just turn +walk away from her because if you don't she'll see how upset she's making you then she's won round one !!!
She's out to upset you because at the moment she's not winning with your boss and men aren't normally right but for once Dom has a point re: the recording if you could brave up and do just that if not walk away you won't be able to see her face but believe me it will be utter shock
and wonderment.
achieve all this with one "look" and the WOL/food/bingeing, and more importantly your running will follow very quickly.
Hugs, kisses, and positive vibes to you take care
of yourself please. ♥♥.Sue x

I have had horses for over 40 years and I thank heaven everyday I now have my own land and stables.
Horse people are weird! On yards you always get a trouble maker and a bully. Its rare for a yard not to have any problems. It really comes down to the owners, getting everyone to report any issues and for them deal with straight away.
But that puts a lot of pressure on the owners and those type of people as soon as they see a weakness will pounce and exploit it.
My son had liveries at his farm, he tried to be everyone's friend and helped them all out.
There was one particular woman who became vile, she owed him money, was dreadful to the other people on the yard and started laying down her own rules! My son at the time was young and didn't handle the situation very well as he didn't say anything to her, she saw the weakness and it became even worse.
Fortunately thank goodness, she did a runner one day when no one was around, she did owe a lot of money, but my son didn't worry about that, he was just glad to see the back of her.
Stand your ground, as often they will only cause trouble if there is no resistance!
I do feel for you, I had a lovely ride today in the sunshine , this type of situation can spoil your enjoyment. I wish you all the best x x

Before I moved yards a year ago we had a similar situation on and off involving different people. I tried to stay out of it all until the yard bully tried to pick on me. So I started wearing my iPod all the time and listening to music if the nasty people were around. It worked like magic..I couldn't hear anyone bad mouthing me so consequently I managed to stop worrying about them.
Good luck and I hope the situation gets better very quickly x

((((((((((hugs))))))))))) I'm sorry you're having a rough time hun, people can spoil things so easily if they really want to.