The FastDay Forum

I support my brother, he is interstate but I whip up for visits and major issues otherwise we have lots of phone contact. Have to say being a constant and significant support to someone who needs a hand is in my opinion is just what you do. Just going that bit extra for someone who you know life is a struggle for or you know is lonely makes such a difference

Today's whinge......
My daughter had a sz yesterday which resulted in her vomiting and another today. This is totally new! I am tired and I ate her tea instead of making something healthy. I am still within my 500cals, but feeling a bit off!

Today's whinge......
My daughter had a sz yesterday which resulted in her vomiting and another today. This is totally new! I am tired and I ate her tea instead of making something healthy. I am still within my 500cals, but feeling a bit off!

When you are facing such difficulties @Karenm, be sure to put the 5:2 on the back burner. Handling your daughter on your own - I have so much respect for you. Is she on one of those ketogenic high-fat diets? I don't know much about them, just that they are used for epileptic children.

And @gillymary, I appreciate your remarks about caring very much! Having not had a (paying) job in over 20 years, I'm mostly a caregiver, for my kids, even though they are grown now, my husband, who has a couple of significant medical issues and is working full time and then some in spite of them, and now for my mom, long distance.

The keto diet worked for a little while, but she is having a vagus nerve stimulator operation on 18th November. Hopefully it will help with her seizures

Hope that goes well and brings improvements Karen x

[Betsysgr8]

My Mom insists on driving... for the most part. She had cataract surgery several years ago, before my Dad passed away, and scared the hell out of us kids as she would get near a traffic light and slow down! We would ask her "What the hell are you doing?" And she'd reply, "I can't tell if the light is green or red"!!!! OMG! Well, I was the one to go with her to her cataract surgery appointment, scary ride as she insisted on driving but what a difference on the ride back! I had to drive as she wasn't allowed to by the doctors but wasn't long after that she was driving again and back up to her usual speed (fast), lol and the colors! she said she couldn't remember colors being so brilliant!

Now when she's not feeling well, she's much better at allowing one of her 'children' to drive, but it was a long hard fought battle.

Oh wow, finally a room for me. Was sooking thinking there is no group for me.

My daughter is 16 and on the spectrum for autism, but I still prefer to call it Aspergers, because she is well functioning with traits that drive me crazy with a lot of anxiety thrown in the mix.
She obsesses over germs, that really are not there, albeit for one tiny strawberry that had a sus area on it, so she freaked out that I still wanted to use the other strawberries that were fine, they were not touching the suspect strawberry.

Oh the dilemma, I will have to pick my battles with her, but she will go without a drink because she can see germs all over my cup and glasses. Makes for slow school mornings. I had to sniff the milk, because she thought it was off, it wasn't.

Glad I can vent here. Thanks

[Betsysgr8]

My "little" brother was hit by a car and severely brain damaged when he was 2 1/2 half years old. I will be his caretaker/giver when Mom passes. Out of my 4 older brothers and 2 sisters, it's been agreed that I will take over Mom's house to continue keeping his life on a even keel as he doesn't do well with change. Since my late husband and I never had children and my brother's only other sibling to not have others to look after, I volunteered to keep things even for him. He's the youngest and I'm second youngest and I remember looking out for him all the time I was growing up. At this point I'm still hoping it will be along way out but I'm not having any regrets at agreeing to looking after my brother.

Four weeks ago early one morning I got a call from the hospital saying that my mother had been admitted to hospital as she had driven herself there in the middle of the night for a scheduled operation. They sent her home telling her that she didn't need an operation but she came back half an hour later requesting surgery once again. They figured that my mum was not mentally well so she was admitted! This was the beginning of a very stressful time for my mum, myself & my siblings. She was eventually diagnosed with dementia, but not before wandering off from the hospital in the middle of the night with the intent of walking to my place (which is an hours drive from the hospital)! Police etc. were called & luckily she was found a few blocks away! She is no longer allowed to live at home by herself or to drive her car, which she is very angry about. We then had 4 days to find her a secure dementia home to live in. No places were available in her home town, but we found a place in one 200km away. Looking at the homes was extremely heart breaking as we saw the long term prognoses for my mother! She is now in the home we chose. She is safe and being looked after, but gets really angry & upset which is really hard to bear.

I know that if I hadn't been doing the 5:2 WOE during this time, I would have gained at least 5kg - probably 10kg!!!! The stress meant that I didn't do all my usual fasts during this time, so I didn't loose any weight, but I am thankful that I didn't gain any weight! I now know that no matter how stressful things get, I can carry on with this WOE & my health (in terms of weight) won't suffer! I just really really hope that this WOE gives me some protection from hereditary dementia. It is such a hideous disease!

What a terrible experience, @Philippa! Was that the first evidence you had of her dementia, or had there been other signs before?

Makes me so thankful that my parents decided back in 2002 to give up their large home where they had lived for 40 years and move into a lovely two bedroom apartment with patio in a retirement community with the dining room down the hall. So my mom had support when she became a widow in 2004, and has support now as the dementia takes over.

Looking back now, I think the dementia had been slowly progressing for a number of years. Initially we thought it was her hearing as she'd repeat things & get things muddled. However we knew it wasn't just hearing loss earlier this year & we tried to get her to talk to her doctor but she thought she was fine & we were interfering in her life!!! We rang her doctor but were unable to do anything because of the privacy laws here. Sadly, she needed to do something dramatic to be recognised by the health system - we were just grateful she decided to go to the hospital!!!! Because no family lived in the same town as her, we were unaware of how bad things had become. We have since learnt that people in the early stages of dementia can maintain a 'normal' conversation for 20 minutes, so she was able to appear quite well when talking to her on the phone.

It's great your mother has support 'wendyjane' & is already settled into a supportive environment she knows. It should make things a little easier for her as the disease progresses.

I have a physically handicapped bother living with me (Nager's syndrome). He is well able to take care of himself and do a few chores (including keeping my computer clean of viruses!), but is unable to live on his own. Mom and sis live in New England (about 900 miles away), and Sis keeps an eye on Mom as she goes through her 3rd battle with breast cancer. Sis got married this past weekend, so, because she'd be in Europe for her honeymoon, I sent brother up to Mom to help her out while Sis is gone. Everyone is happy all round!

Take Care all!

Whoo Hoo, I got a mention. Shall I start this off like the AA meetings?

Hi, my name is Julie and I am a carer!

In fact a 3 times carer. My husband is riddled with Rhumatoid Arthritis, to the extent he is now pretty much wheelchair bound. He can just about hobble from the front door to the car, about 3 metres.That plus his elbows siezing and his wrists and fingers taking on the classic Rhumatoid 'claws' means he has trouble holding things or using his hands. He needs full time care, from waking to waking. My lack of sleep is my major problem with him.

I am also my youngest sons carer, he has Autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, learning difficulties, low IQ, OCD, ADHD and some hypermobility.

I'm officially not my eldest sons carer, but he is Aspergers (very high IQ, but the empathy of a dead pot plant) and is back home again after having surgery, losing his job and suffering from depression because of it all. The tensions in this house can get rather 'fraught'. If it wasn't for my husbands stabilising influence I think I would have had a nervous breakdown years ago.

On top of all this, I managed to slip a disk in my neck 2 years ago. It squished inward and is pressing on my spinal cord (prognosis is paralysis within 5 years). So there are days when I'm stuck on the sofa in agony myself. I can't exercise, I try every now and again, then regret it pretty much immediately. The frustrations from once being 'wonder woman' to being laid up and sorry for myself is bad. Thankfully the two lads are now old enough and just about able enough, between themselves to cook a meal or do housework, if directed one task at a time.

@Zamale we too have the germ problem. The youngest, autistic one, will NOT, drink out of any glass that he even suspects has had another persons lips on it, or that the water/drinks are 'old'. We have mountains of glasses every day to wash.

I'm in the same boat as others, if it hadn't been for 5:2 I would have kept on putting on weight, as I just don't have time to take care of myself. Or at least, take the time to calorie count or portion controls etc. This forum has become a place to escape to on a daily basis. Somewhere, where I can meet people, chat and feel 'normal' when for me a 'normal' day would probably scare the pants off me as it's so unusual (or maybe bore me silly).

Wow Julieathome. You ARE wonderwoman! Most people couldn't deal with what you have to on a daily basis. You should be very proud of yourself!

My son has verbal dyspraxia, but he is able to talk pretty well now. Its been a lot of work to get him to this stage but the rewards are enormous. I think his difficulties have made him a very kind understanding boy, as he's always the first to try and help anyone that needs it - even people he hardly knows! We are extremely proud of him!

@Julieathome, I wish I could drop by with dinner for your family, or come over and clean up the house, or whisk you away for a nice low cal beverage... Sometimes this virtual-only friendship is difficult.

@debbiejgb it sounds like he is no bother at all (see first line of your post) I hadn't heard of Nager's Syndrome, and when I looked it up, I wasn't surprised, as there are only 200 diagnosed cases. Orphan diseases, I think they call them.

I also looked up dyspraxia, and then realized that my son may have had a mild form as a boy. He definitely had significant cluttering, and ADHD without the hyper component. Sadly it took till he was an older teen to get that diagnosed and get him help. He got over the cluttering by early adolescence but even now as a 20-something he pauses a lot when he talks. You have to be patient listening, because he sure has a lot of interesting stuff to say!