The FastDay Forum

Hello everyone,

I can drop in here for a sec, even if strictly I could stay longer, since I am still in the "obese 1" range - gotta love these labels - NOT!

But I feel sad! I can't & won't sanction the name of this tent, I'm sorry! I really don't feel it's helpful.

But, all you gorgeous & darling women, please let us be kind to ourselves!! Please let us speak to ourselves as we would speak to each other. Please challenge that critical voice in the mirror, and fight back against labeling ourselves. We are so much bigger (and I use the word advisedly!) than that.

Barbara Hannah, who was a colleague of C.G Jung, said that the one prerequisite for change is that we love what already is. That is already enough of a spiritual practice to keep us very busy!

Hi @jools7 ..Barbara Hannah can say what she likes,but as long as i remain very obese,my life will continue to be difficult,uncomfortable and even in danger of ending ( blood pressure is skyhigh,losing weight will bring it down)..
I would be a crazy fool to " love what already is"!
I understand where youre coming from,and i thank you for your concern ..but i am being realistic rather than negative with the title...
@sallyo puts it so much better than i can...quote..
" I am still officially fat. That's according to the CSIRO - Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation. It's not related to whether I am a lovely person or not, whether I look good or whether I am looking at the situation in a negative way. It's a scientific fact. I am feeling a lot better than when I was obese before I started 5:2, but I am still fat. Thank you @CandiceMarie for pitching this tent and bringing together people with this in common. Of course we care about our weight! If i wasn't fat, I probably wouldn't care, but I am."

I'm sorry, I won't accept abuse just because it's dressed up as a "fact" or "reality". As a scientist myself, I know there is no such thing as "objective reality", EVERYthing is relative. And just because an attitude or opinion is commonly held, that doesn't mean I have to accept it.

And while I sympathise with anyone suffering from any life-threatening illness, as I do with type 2 diabetes, life can be difficult, uncomfortable and in danger of ending at times whether we are larger or smaller. Losing weight doesn't automatically guarantee a smooth path through life, or eternal health or happiness. I wonder whether this uncomfortable concept might account for some of the weight that is regained after any weight-loss regime.

Please count me in I have over 2 stones lose. I understand how some people feel about the label fat as this is often used as an insult, but the truth is I am fat. Sometimes claiming the word can defeat the negative aspects of it. I am fat, that doesn't make lazy, or ugly or any of the other negative implications.

Yes youre quite right,jools..we're always free to use our powers of discernment to accept /discard whatever we read on here
And i agree with you..i know only too well that being slim doesnt guarantee either happiness or good health.
For example, i was slim myself for many years,but that didn't make my life a bed of roses..
And my Dad ,slim and wiry all his life,worked til well into his eighties,walked miles every day,a lifelong healthy eater and nonsmoker, but suffered a very severe stroke...
and my best friend,slim to the point of being thin her whole life,died of breast cancer just after her 40 th birthday.
However,being overweight / obese / severely or morbidly obese can greatly increase risk of heart attacks and strokes,and puts a lot of stress on joints..this is an opinion that's commonly held and one i personally believe in..but of course nobody's saying everyone must take it as fact if they choose not to.

This thread is for folk who identify with that title and DO feel it a helpful one rather than find it abusive..you're entitled to think it IS of course!
It's a Tent for me,unhappy / overwhelmed with my several excess stones ( because I am ) ..and anyone else who feels the same...but as with all the other Tents,nobody has to fulfil the criteria above or agree with the ethos of the tent in order to visit it...All are welcome to call in / take part/ pass comment/ say nothing/stand on their head in the corner,as they so wish x!
So long as nobody with best of intentions of comforting us is gonna come along and tell us it doesn't matter at all that we have a BIG weight problem,coz it DOES and we HAVE ! That's how we see it,so that's our reality - and one we are eager to change by shedding "surplus to requirements" poundage!with the help and support that's always available here.
And long as a mod doesn't come along and tell me this title is out of order, in which case i am sure it will be rapidly removed ! X !

Hmmm this is on my mind today..
I used to be amazed when i read that some peep here were saying fast days were easier than nonfast days! Excuse me? You what! How come?
But...now i think i feel the same...coz tho am not a massive fan of fasting,at least the Hunger Monster isnt unleashed til the evening after my 500 cals,then hopefully i can get to bed and ignore HM. The next day,the feed day,by afternoon i could just draw a chair up to the fridge and eat..and eat...
So,am wondering if maybe now 4:3 or ADF might be more useful now..
Been thinking of writing a " stream of consciousness " thing too when i wake in the morning..used to do it years ago.. A few pages,just get all the stuff thats roaming round my head down on paper...then i can forget all the rubbishy stuff and get on with a clearer head to the more important stuff of the day! x
How are YOU? X

Agreed, de cluttering head and body and probably home too seems a positive process.
Good Morning World :0)

I'm with you @Chook 20kgs needing to go!!!
@jools7
Hey buddie I love my new look/shape/appetite/health
And I'm nowhere near as fat as I was this time last year so that pleases me no end and from this moment on
every lb/kg loss will be a bonus that how good I'm feeling in myself + life the numbers don't bother me now non of them I'm going by what I see in the mirror and clothing and fitness, for me this is my "interim" shape hopefully reducing sometime soon, yes i do weigh-in once a week and love seeing the lower numbers coming around and do keep aspirational clothing on hand to try on occasionally,
I'm still extremely camera shy but working on that particular problem

now I've put that into words it sounds a bit double Dutch and contradictory somehow but hope you get my drift

Before I started the 5:2 six weeks ago I was really angry with myself. I probably need to loose about 8 stone! Letting myself get to this point and failing at every diet made me feel useless. Luckily I do find fasting quite easy and seem to be losing the weight at the mo. I do understand where you are coming from though @candicemarie

Thanks for your kind words,@sue.q. I too love my new shape & size, but I won't do that at the expense of hating my old self. And I won't let the medical profession (of whom I am a member) hate my old self either. For me, I have to understand where my larger self was coming from, I have compassion for my body of six months ago. And I need to also hold & have compassion for a potential smaller me in the future. I will not value one against the other, however. It's like having a favourite child. I do hope to keep getting fitter &more healthy, but, although I can play my part in that by fasting & exercising, partly it's in the lap of the gods. If it happens, it happens! That's why I can't join in any of the challenges to be a certain weight by a certain time. For me that's only evident in retrospect.

I realise this might be an unpopular opinion on the forum, but I still feel it has a right to be heard.

Oh gosh, a bit deep for my simple mind. I have spent 40 years on a diet and am still fat! I dread to think how much weight I have gained and lost. I have been a size 10 and a size 18 (UK) and am currently finding 12 too tight. I am not offended by the word fat as that is what I am once more. Who knows where I will be in years to come. I do not beat myself about it, it is fact and only I can change it. Each to their own I say, there is no wrong or right here, it is what works for each one of us. I look forward to the day I can leave the fat tent but for now am happy to be here.

'although I can play my part in that by fasting & exercising, partly it's in the lap of the gods. If it happens, it happens! That's why I can't join in any of the challenges to be a certain weight by a certain time.' I agree with this jools7 and i have the same attitude. At the same time I don't have a problem with the title of this camp. I don't see saying 'i am fat' as necessarily a self hating or negative value laden comment. It is simply a comment of fact. To be unable to say that would be to be in denial. I don't want to be fat, but I don't hate my body or myself for being the body I am, or the body I was. I find it interesting that we can't call a spade a spade without everyone telling us what lovely people we are, although we are fat. Being a lovely person has no connection at all with weight. Skinny people are lovely and skinny people are mean. Same with fat people .

@bobshouse my scenario is almost identical to yours ..except for the bit where you say,youre finding 12 too tight right now! impossible for me right now,rather than too tight ! Hehe!
Yep we can skip and dance out of this Tent when we feel it no longer applies ...for me that' ll be when i am a " loose" 16!
but then we can still pop back in at times to support our fellows!
@Sallyo you hit the nail on the head with yr words! X for me,anyways,can't speak for anybody else x

I am just popping in to say that some of you seem to be hurting a lot inside and
I want to give you all a big hug.

I am one of the lucky ones who's shed the weight from being overweight, rather than from obese. So my journey was not as long. I really do admire my sisters who have had and will have a long way to go to get to where I am now, but believe me it's worth it in the end.

I can't stress enough the health benefits you'll get. In addition the way you can walk up hills without getting puffed out. The small sizes you can pick off the rails. Actually liking your reflection that before you used to avoid. There's much, much more, but that's enough and everyone has their own benefits anyway.

Be kind to yourselves on this journey and if this is the tent that helps you get there then stick with it. Hugs all round.

Hello @CandiceMarie, can a slimmer sister put in her twopennorth

If you want to call yourself fat, do so. It is just a short word that describes your size not an evaluation of you as a person. I have been fat, I have been thin. There are other words that describe how people look which have a condemnatory aura like skinny. Do you remember how rude people were about Twiggy in the sixties? None of us wanted to look like her. We didn't want to be fat either, we wanted to look like Miss World 36-24-36.

This not being allowed to call a spade a spade means we do not have the space to honestly express other truths about ourselves. Each of us knows whether we are plain, attractive or beautiful. But we are not allowed to say " I am plain" or "I am beautiful".

So if you feel fed up let it all hang out @CandiceMarie. May the Fast be with you.