The FastDay Forum

Feeling a bit glum because of a comment just made to me and don't know if I'm being a bit too sensitive.

I've lost about a stone so far since new year, have dropped a dress size and to my mind I look and feel much better. I'm 5 foot 8.5, now 10 stone 4 and a bit lbs, size 12 and was looking to get down to 10 stone to see how I look/feel. I'm a healthy BMI/body fat/visceral fat as I am, but have never in my life been lean and athletic, and as a pretty active person (cycle a lot, walk a lot and started running too) I'd really like to be.

Only a couple of people have commented on my weight loss and none of these have actually said I look great/better, just literally that I've lost weight. And one today, which prompted this post, actually said I look too skinny

Granted this bloke before has often said they like women with more meat on their bones and it makes him sad how women are always going on about losing weight, but it just made me wonder if I've got a skewed version of how I actually look and whether I do look skinny now?

Not really sure of the purpose of this post, but wondered if there's anyone else out there who hasn't been showered in compliments after losing weight, and whether it's made them doubt themselves?

Seriously, who cares what any body else thinks or says. Who is this bloke anyhow? Are you too thin? Are you just right? Personal opinion. You can look in the mirror and judge for yourself. Can you grab a handful of fat around your middle? You can't expect to get a lot of validation from other people for losing weight. It's a deeply personal thing. I am not on this diet for anyone else. I am on it for me so that I can fit into my clothes more comfortably, and because I personally enjoy being thin. Now that I understand the power of fasting, I have a lot more control over my weight. I am planning to get underweight, because I think it is healthier. So when people start telling me I look gaunt, I know I've hit my mark.

[carorees]

Without being able to see you its hard to comment. I am not sure that the aesthetic view has much to do with health...most models are clearly far too thin, most women these days are far too fat! I think the test is if you feel well in yourself.
The people who were enclosed in the Biosphere 2 project for 2 years - who had to calorie restrict to survive because the biosphere was unable to produce the expected amount of food - came out 'thinner than thin' but medically incredibly healthy! Their average BMI was just under 20.

So, don't doubt yourself if you are feeling good!

Hi, each to their own I guess. Best thing is to look in the mirror and decide for yourself.
Many years ago the reverse happened to me. I had lost weight and could'nt handle the attention, I became quite angry that I was the same person whatever my weight but was only worth talking to if I was thin, which of course played a part in my being morbidly obese today.

I wonder if behind your back people you work with might be saying that they think fasting twice a week is dangerous and they don't want to encourage you. The fact that you're active and are thinking about taking up running sort of prooves that you are healthy so they probably will be less critical and more complimentary given time.

At 5' 8" and 10 stone 4 you would be around the optimum for running so if you are thinking about taking it up go for it. It's a really good way of keeping fit and measuring your fittness progress.

[Moogie]

Don't worry what people think, only concern yourself with how you feel about yourself

When I got down to a size 8 some years back, a couple of friends told me I shouldn't lose any more because my head was starting too look too big for my body - but everyone else seemed to think I looked great and I certainly felt great.

I know it's very easy to be upset by what people say especially when it's about something you're sensitive about and has been an issue in your life - but if you feel good, think you look good and are in a healthy BMI range then don't worry about what one person says. Everyone has different tastes in appearances, you can never please everybody!

You should do what feels best for you, everybody has different ideas about what is healthy or not. My mother was horrified that I was going on the 5:2 diet when I was just under 10 stone as she thought I was skinny then, but for me I wasn't. Then some people will tell you that you are too skinny because they are jealous of your success in losing the weight.
I've now dropped to 9 stone at 5'8" and am nearly at my goal of 19 BMI. I feel much better now than I did before losing the weight, but am small boned so *think* it looks fine (and my B/F thinks so too).
If you want to aim for a size 10, then you haven't got far to go - around 9 stone 10?

A lot of people who've said I'm too thin have also confessed to allowing their green eyed monster to speak for them. You know what feels right for you, and as shops are selling clothes as small as size 4, a 10/12 certainly doesn't fall into the"too"thin category. Do you have a plan for maintenance, once you drop a bit further? I'll be switching to 6:1 within the next couple of weeks

Your height, weight and bmi sound nicely slender to me. Don't doubt yourself, not everyone will admit why they question your weight loss. I'd say keep to your plan if that's what you want to do - it's only a few more pounds. But, as Lisa says, having a plan for maintenance would be a good idea.

[Tracieknits]

I wouldn't worry about size 10. My aunt was 5"9' and size 8. She was gorgeous.

I'm pretty sure that people are jealous, or don't realize how they're coming across. I wouldn't have called Dr. M fat or felt he needed a diet, but clearly he had issues, and he feels better with the weight off.

In the end, other people can stuff it. Worry about you, doll.

Shrinkingrose you sound just right to me! The Green Eyed Monster seems to have got hold of some of your friends, methinks. Could be too that you may have lost weight but perhaps are still wearing the same clothes or same sort of clothes as when you were bigger. I don't know how old you are but I'm 61 and I say it's never too late to have a makeover. Think about getting your hair and make up updated - you don't have to spend a fortune- a friend of mine gets her hair done by young stylists training at good hairdresser's overseen by qualified stylists. Make up is dirt cheap these days and there's always advice on hand at the beauty counters. And as for a dress style makeover - any dept store will do that for you again for no money. Once you know what's in and what's out and what suits your new body shape you can shop around for clothes on E-bay or cheaper stores if the big stores are too expensive. Embrace the new you and rub their noses in it!!! Spring is round the corner and you'll look great when you start unlayering.

Stand in front of the mirror, if your ribs or hips stick out, get a second opinion, otherwise ignore people.

I've said in a previous post that my sister has nagged me to lose weight for years and then moaned when I lost half-a-stone as she "didn't like change". This is going down to 14st, so I'm still very well-padded.

People have said things to me ie "don't lose any more weight now, your cheekbones are sticking out", but I love my cheekbones sticking out!! I am 10 stone 4 now and 5 foot 6 ins, so I know I want another 5 -7 pounds off to be really lean. The problem for me is that I am 57 next week so my skin is a bit saggy. Hoping that it will firm up when my weight stays down and I tone up a bit. Body looks ok dressed though - just went shopping and I was looking at Small and size 10's - love it, love it, love it - let the green eyed monsters carry on, I want to be lean and strong!

It is so difficult to get a really good idea of your true size. I've just been chatting to my hairdresser, who is very slim. We compared height/weight and her BMI is 19.9, higher than mine is now, but to me she still looks slimmer than me. Maybe take a photo of yourself as when you look in the mirror sometimes you just don't see things in proportion and a photo might help.

I'm 5-10 and just hit my 10 stone target, which I am prepared to up a bit if I find I don't perform so well at this weight. Sod whether anyone thinks I am too thin, I can still pinch little bits of fat but they they can stay for a while longer perhaps while things stabilise. I'm sure you will know soon enough within yourself if you have overdone the fasting.