The FastDay Forum

Whether he is a saboteur, a feeder, an non-thinker or an insecure man, what he does is inexcusable.
Personally, I wouldn't stab him with the fork (I can't stand men who nag over minor injuries) nor I would throw food in the bin (seriously? there are people who starve out there) but next time he'd try to sabotage my diet I would say "well, there goes a week without sex, do you want me to make it a month"?

Did you read the post TML??

The "food" in question is a bag of revels which has virtually zero "food" or nutritious content. That won't do the starving third world any good I do promise you.

It won't do any good because it wouldn't reach them but my objection is not in the type of food, it's in the money that was spent to buy food that went in the bin.
And if you think that the only starving people are in the third world, look around you, you might be surprised how near there might be a family which struggles to put tea on the table.
After Easter, the forums was full of "advice" to throw left over Easter eggs in the bin so that their owners won't go into temptation to eat them.
I don't know how common this is in the UK (not in my family, that is sure) or in the US but where I come from and based on my ethics this is absolutely unacceptable and wrong!!!

I have a friend who's husband was a saboteur, of the insecure 'if she's fat no one else will want her' type. She ended up having a heart attack that nearly killed her. She went on a strict diet after that, with hubby continually trying to sabotage her. Once she lost the weight she needed to boost her confidence, she got a new job, a new home AND a new bloke who loved the svelte lady that was appearing through the layers of fat.

There is only one person in control of what goes into your mouth, and it's not him.

Just. Say. No.

There is just so much wrong with that statement.

Flame me.

[Moogie]

Whether he is a saboteur, a feeder, an non-thinker or an insecure man, what he does is inexcusable.
Personally, I wouldn't stab him with the fork (I can't stand men who nag over minor injuries) nor I would throw food in the bin (seriously? there are people who starve out there) but next time he'd try to sabotage my diet I would say "well, there goes a week without sex, do you want me to make it a month"?

Holding out with sex only works for women who live with wimps.


EDITED BY THE ADMIN:
@DomDom I (and apparently quite a few other members) do not consider your post to be at all appropriate to the supportive tone of this forum. While you may have intended it in some sort of jest, the issue of rape is hardly a joking matter. Please refrain from making similar comments in future, thank you.

"Holding out with sex only works for women who live with wimps."

Or with men who love their wives enough to not take what is unwillingly given.

Whether he is a saboteur, a feeder, an non-thinker or an insecure man, what he does is inexcusable.
Personally, I wouldn't stab him with the fork (I can't stand men who nag over minor injuries) nor I would throw food in the bin (seriously? there are people who starve out there) but next time he'd try to sabotage my diet I would say "well, there goes a week without sex, do you want me to make it a month"?

Holding out with sex only works for women who live with wimps.

Ain't that nice... NOT.

It won't do any good because it wouldn't reach them but my objection is not in the type of food, it's in the money that was spent to buy food that went in the bin.
And if you think that the only starving people are in the third world, look around you, you might be surprised how near there might be a family which struggles to put tea on the table.
After Easter, the forums was full of "advice" to throw left over Easter eggs in the bin so that their owners won't go into temptation to eat them.
I don't know how common this is in the UK (not in my family, that is sure) or in the US but where I come from and based on my ethics this is absolutely unacceptable and wrong!!!

I don't need to look far TML.

If it wasn't fo the fact that my father was successful as an accountant I would have been sunk a long time ago.

I've worked 4 0n 4 0ff night +days for 10 years ...the only pay adjustment we've had was £20/week cut 4 years ago. There is nothing you can do as they are shipping Pol.... I could go on but you get the idea.

Then you probably understand why I am against spending money on food and then throwing it away!

I have similar issues . In my culture people forcefeed guest . They don't understand a NO. I have tried saying a no polietly it doesn't work... I dont understand how to tell these people without coming out bluntly. Please note these are the people who are dieting themselves but they get annoyed when i refuse an extra helping .

There's always divorce ;>)

I feel bad for the OP, this whole thread has gone into 'let me tell you my morals' mode. Guys, really - not the place.

OP, he does sound either like 1) fears you'll leave/be more independent if you lose weight, or 2) does actually prefer you heavier. Which does your gut tell you it is? Anyway, I'd ask him straight why he sabotages and watch for his reaction, at a time when it's hard for him to get away/lie easily, like when you're in bed about to go to sleep. You know him best, so you'll be able to work out his motivations from there.

Either way, don't succumb - that's a great idea someone else had about saying 'Oh, thank you, I'll have that tomorrow' and putting it in the cupboard/fridge for the bext day. For cooked stuff, in all honesty I think that'd the hardest to deal with. How about when he starts to cook something, or comes in with takeaway, just go and start to run a bath, get your book and towels ready and the bubbles going. I use baths a lot when Pointed Ignoring needs to be done. Plus, they relax you and make you smell and feel lovely!

I wouldn't hold out with sex, I don't want to punish myself and add other frustrations

If I had a saboteur, which I haven't as he is really supportive, I think I wouldn't say a thing but do as I wish. If I couldn't discuss about it with him why would I bother ? At the beginning, some people were sceptics but I didn't care and now they see the results (and I lost nearly 25 kgs since I began dieting and have only about 7 kgs to lose to reach my goal), they learned to shut up wich is fine by me

I have similar issues . In my culture people forcefeed guest . They don't understand a NO. I have tried saying a no polietly it doesn't work... I dont understand how to tell these people without coming out bluntly. Please note these are the people who are dieting themselves but they get annoyed when i refuse an extra helping .

I had an aunt who was like that. Otherwise she was a fantastic person but she wanted people to eat for Greece and England and the planet, if pos.
When I was a child, I said no. I couldn't care less if I was rude or whatever, I just said a firm no. Growing up, I didn't want to upset her because I loved her very much, so I invented excuses. Depending on what she was offering I refused because:
I was fasting (Greek Orthodox religion has a variety of fasts, one person can literally fast every other day and nobody would bat an eyelid)
I had an allergy (I am allergic to pollen and broad beans, I just added a few more things that I was allergic to)
I had an irritable bowel (there go all the greens)
It was that time of the month and I didn't want anything too salty or too cold (water retention/tummy aches)
I was coming down with something (that covers a variety of reason to refuse food or drink)
I did a blood test and my doctor told me to avoid X, Y, Z

My poor aunty probably thought that I had the worse health ever but at least I wasn't letting her down and I got a lot of "oh poor you".

My husband would never consciously sabotage me but gets exasperated with my wanting different meals to the rest of the family because I can calorie count the things I make myself (I don't make family meals when I'm fasting - either he or our au pair does), but not the things someone else makes. He also tries to persuade me to have "just one small glass - it won't hurt" of wine on my fast days as he feels less bad about drinking when he isn't drinking alone. He needs to lose weight himself and keeps saying he does, and was happy to tell me I did too, but for some reason refuses to give this WoE an honest try.

People have all sorts of reasons for sabotaging - if they need to lose weight they don't want to be reminded of it by watching someone "dieting", while if they don't they find it tiresome when someone can't eat with them.