The FastDay Forum

Whether he is a saboteur, a feeder, an non-thinker or an insecure man, what he does is inexcusable.
Personally, I wouldn't stab him with the fork (I can't stand men who nag over minor injuries) nor I would throw food in the bin (seriously? there are people who starve out there) but next time he'd try to sabotage my diet I would say "well, there goes a week without sex, do you want me to make it a month"?

I would never use sex as a punishment or in power games with a partner. What ends up really suffering when you do that is the relationship, the trust and intimacy between the two of you.

A much more mature approach would be to find a way to discuss the issue, try and find out what is motivating the sabotaging behaviour and hopefully with some honest communication you can both reach a point where you understand and support each other more. Good luck!

Whether he is a saboteur, a feeder, an non-thinker or an insecure man, what he does is inexcusable.
Personally, I wouldn't stab him with the fork (I can't stand men who nag over minor injuries) nor I would throw food in the bin (seriously? there are people who starve out there) but next time he'd try to sabotage my diet I would say "well, there goes a week without sex, do you want me to make it a month"?

I would never use sex as a punishment or in power games with a partner. What ends up really suffering when you do that is the relationship, the trust and intimacy between the two of you.

I wholeheartedly agree with you but here we are talking about a partner who sabotages his wife's try to do good to herself.

Then you probably understand why I am against spending money on food and then throwing it away!

Haven't we been through this?

There is zero food content in a chocolate confection.....only saturated sugars.

The best that could happen to it is bin it.....

Whether he is a saboteur, a feeder, an non-thinker or an insecure man, what he does is inexcusable.
Personally, I wouldn't stab him with the fork (I can't stand men who nag over minor injuries) nor I would throw food in the bin (seriously? there are people who starve out there) but next time he'd try to sabotage my diet I would say "well, there goes a week without sex, do you want me to make it a month"?

I would never use sex as a punishment or in power games with a partner. What ends up really suffering when you do that is the relationship, the trust and intimacy between the two of you.

I wholeheartedly agree with you but here we are talking about a partner who sabotages his wife's try to do good to herself.

So, you would punish him with one of the most important thing in a couple ? It's not fair for anybody. I don't educate my partner and I wouldn't say "ok you live me alone or no sex until you understand", he's not a child and doesn't need to be punished or educated. And, knowing him, we probably would break up because it's blackmail and he can't stand it (me neither btw).
As I said, he is supportive but if he wasn't we would discuss about it. Again and again and again if necessary. Until it's really clear for him. He knows better than trying to change my mind when I am focused on something anyway....

First of all, I meant it as a joke. But since we are talking about it...

I wouldn't do it but I wouldn't be with such a person. I hate those people, passionately! But if somehow I was, I would treat him as someone who just doesn't get it. And those who don't get it, they need more that talking to get it. You say "he knows better than...", that is the key phrase here. A saboteur doesn't know better. Doesn't think better...

And I totally agree with you about breaking up, I would do it before we even got to the blackmail. But you and I are talking about boyfriends and perhaps breaking up is easier than divorce.

You can imagine it's even worse if you're married because if one use blackmail thinking "he/she have no choice, we're stuck together anyway" one is purely vicious.... And I would divorce him anyway (or at least separate) because I just can't stand it, it's not acceptable. If he would do that it means that he doesn't respect me anymore so why staying ?

I am a kind of all or nothing woman, and divorce is soooooo easy these days

We have one golden rule, never go to bed angry. And I mean "go to bed", not "go to sleep".

A saboteur may be doing it because he or she feels insecure. If you live with somebody for years and that, one day he or she changes it can taken as one "what did I do ? why is she/he not happy with me ? why does he/she need the change ? What did I do wrong ?"

So communication seems to be a key....

And use a flogger if the message is not clear after some time if necessary

The way I see it is that when someone is overweight and they are trying to lose weight they aren't just "changing". They are trying to be healthier, live longer, be well and these are all things that when we have a family we should do anyway.
It is not change, it is the sensible thing to do so that a parent won't die of heart failure before their children turn 30...
I think that where we are different here is the fact that many of you think that it is feasible to communicate with people whom I think they aren't capable of doing it because if they did they wouldn't be acting like that in the first place. That's my disagreement and that's mainly why I wouldn't be able to cope with someone who is unsupportive. But maybe I'm the impatient one...

I am an aries so very very stubborn....I really don't care if people approve or not, it'ss not their life, it's not their boddy either and I do as I please with it.

With my partner, we talked about it before I started. I explained why I wanted to do it, what would it mean for our life together and we went to see my GP for the questions he had. So I think it helped that we talked about it BEFORE; He really felt included in my decision and now he lives me alone....

I'm a taurus, even more stubborn. I just announce.

but my ascendant is scorpio so you can imagine the combination...

And my partner is a leo. Are fights are epic

Oh my, I hate Leos! (Don't tell your partner, LOL!)
The combo of Taurus and Leo is disastrous!!!

Signs apart, I think it has to do with how independent one is. I am very and I am also very clear about it in the beginning of relationships. I don't want to live together, get married, have kids. I want my home, my life, I want to make my decisions. It is not easy to find a Greek man to agree with all this but at least it is not impossible.

my sister is taurus and my nephew leo, they can't understand each other

I am very independant as well as is my partner. We respect the need of the other to be "free" and to make our own decisions but we do include the other one to not feel rejected. I gave him as an exemple some couples who live in the same building, just have a hall to cross to be in their partner appartment and who are happy that way. It's exactly what I want

And believe me, it was not easy to find a French man to agree with it either

Oh, Manderley, you speak straight to my heart. Although I would like a distance that one cannot cross with their jammies and slippers.
And when it comes to parents, I want a distance that is not walkable. How's that?

Whether he is a saboteur, a feeder, an non-thinker or an insecure man, what he does is inexcusable.
Personally, I wouldn't stab him with the fork (I can't stand men who nag over minor injuries) nor I would throw food in the bin (seriously? there are people who starve out there) but next time he'd try to sabotage my diet I would say "well, there goes a week without sex, do you want me to make it a month"?

Holding out with sex only works for women who live with wimps.


EDITED BY THE ADMIN:
@DomDom I (and apparently quite a few other members) do not consider your post to be at all appropriate to the supportive tone of this forum. While you may have intended it in some sort of jest, the issue of rape is hardly a joking matter. Please refrain from making similar comments in future, thank you.

How my comment can be interpreted as a joke about rape is beyond me. I will refrain from making jokes about rape in the future, just like I have until now.

TML,I hear your for the distance with the parents. Younger I used to live at 1h to 1h30 from them but I came back to my native town a few years ago, about 5km from my parents. They're getting old and I want to be around and the fact that I nearly lost my dad 10 years ago gave me perspective.

I was thinking about it and, if my partner is supportive, some people around are not so much so, what I did is to invite them on a fast day and I made the exact same meal for them than for me but I told them after, when the dinner was finished and they were full. Since them, they don't dare say anything. Because of that and the results of my "silly diet"

Edit to add about DomDom, I didn't take what he said for a joke about rape. He was just making a joke about how it is wrong for him to blackmail ones partner with sex, "if you don't support me, no more sex" that is totally different. That's how I understood it anyway