The FastDay Forum

Trying on dresses is SCARY: Part 1 ...

Lots of posts recently about shopping for new clothes, difference in sizing, different people's experiences etc.... well, as we're approaching the party season, and as I have just taken part in the marathon endurance test that is shopping for A Special Occasion, I thought I would share my observations, hopefully for the benefit (and amusement) of all...

(Be afraid. Be very afraid ... )
SILVERDARLING'S GUIDE TO HUNTING DOWN THAT UNIQUE DRESS

Dresses. What about them, I hear you ask ... Well they are different. Especially if you've not worn one for a good many years, which I haven't ... And I would guess they are even more different if you've lost loads of weight as well. I've lost a bit of weight (about a dress size, so not as much as some of you will have) and was
surprised , bewitched, bothered and not a little bewildered by the whole experience ...

* DO make sure the undercarriage ( and superstructure) are rigorously under control (don't wear those Bridget Jones knickers)
* but NO VPL (and we don't need to translate that now for our pals over the pond)
* NO visible bra line either - and no back cleavage, or droopy boobies - get a decent bra fitting beforehand!
* DO get a decent night's sleep before the day
* DO wear tights - and not Norah Batty ones
* DON'T wear high heels - wear flats - or even better training shoes - and carry your 'evening / dancing / Kate Middleton nude platforms in a bag to whip out when needed
* DON'T go shopping on a fast day - you may think it will make things easier / you will feel better / get into smaller clothes etc on a fast day, but believe me you won't - you will need all the strength / concentration / focus you can get, as well as a good sense of balance, energy and staying power ...
* SHAVE - armpits, legs ... or even epilate (pace Ballerina) if you have to, but do it, because there's nothing worse than that Julia Roberts look ...
* DON'T wear foundation or lipstick - you will get yourself into even more contortions trying to avoid getting it on the garments, and you just know it's not worth the extra hassle - smudgeproof mascara if you must ...
* DO be prepared to not take sizing seriously - I ranged from a Jacques Vert size 10 to a Zara XL!!!!!
* DO have a zipper-upper on hand if possible. This could be a person, if you trust them and they have a sense of humour. Male varieties might even enjoy it ...
* If you DON'T have a zipper- upper handy, do a yoga course first ...
* DO Practice deep-breathing and saying "this zip is not going to get stuck in this very flimsy diaphanous cobwebby material - if I promise to not eat chocolate for the next 24 hours"
* DO take specs in order to locate invisible zips (or remember zipper-upper's specs)
* at this point, once you've got it on, tell the zipper-upper to zip it (their mouth, not the dress)
* sales girls will also help (with zips and advice) but this can be risky ... they may be the age of your grand-daughter (or your Mum) and they are bound to say "it's great /you look absolutely wonderful /Kate Middleton bought one of those the other day " when it doesn't / you don't / she didn't
* germolene / powder / Elastoplast pink may be all over Vogue / Elle / Harper's Bazaar this season, but it is so not a good look if you are over 40 ... or even under 40 ...
* bandage dresses are for the very slim / toned / young / Kate Middleton or Ballerina - period.
* DO look online beforehand, and form a strategy - think around what you want, narrow it down, and stick to it. Have about 6 or so dresses that you like the look of and want to try on ... and then TRY THEM ON and not that Zara swing coat you see in passing, or those cropped pants or a Radley bag...
* on the other hand, don't be afraid to take a risk - this is your chance to kick over the traces, you've earned it by losing all that weight, and remember many great actors like Laurence Olivier developed a part by starting with how a character looked and getting the clothes right - you can work from outside inwards too ...
* if you can get access to a Personal Shopper in one of the big stores - use them (but bear in mind all the above - ) - you will know more or less immediately if you are on the same wave length as the personal shopper / sales assistant - if you are not, wrap it up and quickly make your excuses and get out of there and into the next shop!
* Recognise Dress Fatigue when it sets in - symptoms not being able to remember how many you've tried on, back ache, neck ache, feet ache, headache ...
* at this point, chocolate is good! In fact it's essential!
* and you will need a celebration when you have picked and paid for that dress, and chocolate is good then too - as is coffee / bagel / cupcake / brownie / eggs benedict / scrambled egg and smoked salmon / bacon sarnie / Full English / Full Scottish / fish n chips / thai / curry ...

Remember this is not on a Fast Day - you can have it today ... but not tomorrow

PS thanks to @Ballerina - some dresses just have 'hanger appeal' - these are like hidden rocks in the sea of trying-on-dresses - BEWARE! You will get to know just which dresses fall into this category ...

[Debs]

Loved that!!!!! What are you doing up so late Silver?
Never bought a special frock in my life, too scared, and having read the instructions above, may never do so!!!!

You must be exhausted Silverdarling. Thanks for the great tips.What colour is your new dress?
Xx julianna

Hahaaaa! Been up planning my Mum's 80th (that's the Special Occasion) - it's a dinner out at a hotel down in Yorkshire - big do for us nearly 30 people, formal dining, then singer (one of my dad's carers) then QUIZ (that's what Ive been doing tonight ... )

And if getting my dress wasn't bad enough - getting my Mum's is even worse ...

@juliana - at least it's Saturday tomorrow ...

[Debs]

That looks lovely!

[Betsysgr8]

ummmm .. what is it? I clicked on it but it still doesn't make sense... am I lost or dim?

I'm shopping on Omotesando today. There is nothing more demoralizing than the largest size trousers not fitting, even in the Western shops. I really need some nice fitting trousers for work. I did, however, just buy the most darling red coat in Benneton. The salesman kept trying to get me to go a size smaller, but I decided to leave room for a sweater underneath.

Oh @Silverdarling that made me laugh. I don't get out much and the thought of a special occasion dress fills me with dread! I usually can't find what I want and end up stropping home and sulking. Should I have the need to shop I will take on board your tips and truss myself up beforehand and take a zipper upper!

We do need pix though of you in all your glory

I love the color

Trying on dresses is so scary, the last time I tried one was nearly 20 years ago for my 20th birthday

@Silverdarlingthat was wonderful I shall be laughing all day now, thanks for an absolutely brilliant read, gosh the things you do in the middle of the night. Does your husband know what you get up to in the wee small hours? I tried on a lovely dress yesterday but it had what is known in the trade as 'hanger appeal' boy, did it make me feel and look fat.

I may print this check list off for my next foray into town.

Thanks again for the non stop chuckle,

Ballerina x

ummmm .. what is it? I clicked on it but it still doesn't make sense... am I lost or dim?

@betsysgr8 - it's a close up of my LBD - black lace with a few tasteful sequins scattered here and there ... I did try and take a full length pic but light was too dim to get the full effect ... Will try again in daylight ...

Aggg... typed a long reply, only for t'internet to crash.

Have a great time planning your Mum's birthday and enjoy the occasion itself x

Did you get it from Phase Eight?

Ballerina x

I love the color

Trying on dresses is so scary, the last time I tried one was nearly 20 years ago for my 20th birthday

@Manderley - you are definitely overdue a try-on -if not a buy!!!!

And if my maths is right you have a big birthday coming up fast - how about a target of a lovely dress for that birthday?? Perhaps a punky one that you could wear you Camden market jacket over??

Am sure your OH would appreciate it