The FastDay Forum

I saw family recently that I havent seen since the start of my journey with this WOE. Several commented negatively on my weight loss saying I look gaunt, tired or pale. Neighbour has been saying this for a while too, but I just put it down to jealousy! I am fairly self critical myself, but I cant agree with these comments and I am still aiming to reach goal with another 5lb to go. Even at my target weight I will be nearly 1 stone heavier than when I was a student or a (muscular-ish) commercial diver. As I am now over 40 (just!) Do I need to carry more weight than I thought? Is it just that my skin has lost some elasticity, so my face is baggy and saggy? Do people just need time to adjust to my new look? At what point do I maintain?

Interesting question, @scubachick. I have had similar comments, balanced, it must be said, with those who've said how well I look.
I do not want to lose weight, per se, but still need to trim a few inches off my waist.
Although I'm a lot older than you, I am a quite a bit heavier now than as a student, when I think I was probably too thin (photos bear this out) and I think I would not suit such a look again at my age.

Question is, are you happy to maintain at 5lbs over goal? How much of a struggle will it be to lose those excess pounds, both mentally and physically? I'm sure others wiser than me may come up with your answer, but, at the end of the day, it's your decision. Let us know x

[carorees]

This is a great question @scubachick. We have debated this in the past but not been able to come up with any firm conclusions!!

Pennyforthem is absolutely right...if it is going to be hard work to maintain, don't bother trying...life is for enjoying after all.

The science says that there is not much difference in mortality rate between being overweight and being 'normal' weight. Also the range of normal weight is huge. A 1.64m woman could weigh between 49 and 67 kg and be in the normal BMI range! So, from a science/health viewpoint, you can probably stop whenever you like once you are more or less at a normal BMI.

Michael H (I think) posted a while back that his wife had been saying that he had lost too much weight and he didn't believe her as he couldn't see it in the mirror but then he saw a photo of himself and was shocked at how gaunt he looked. So it seems that we can't always see it ourselves.

On the other hand, I do think that people get shocked by the change and worry that you might overdo it before you actually have. I have had several people now say "you're not going to lose any more are you?" and yet OH says I look fine.

Then, it might also not only be the change in you that triggers this response but also the fact that they may feel a little guilty about not trying harder to lose weight themselves. The internal logic for them is "well if she thinks she needs to lose more then I'm even more overweight than I thought I was"

The answer is probably, get yourself photographed and also ask people you really trust to give you an honest view.

I'm in the same position as Penny....I don't really need to lose any more weight EXCEPT for the (admittedly slight) ring of fat around my middle. And I want to lose the belly/waist fat for health reasons, not so much for vanity --although that is a nice side benefit!

So....I guess we shall see.

I've been convinced for quite a while now that fat is burned in the exact opposite sequence from that with which it was first deposited. Like an obnoxious party guest, stomach area fat is the first to arrive and the last to go.

I'm sure we'd all agree that our original weight goals were, in retrospect, a total fantasy based on a clear realization at that time that almost no one, anywhere with any system met their goal.

Now we've the curiously rare problem of considering what our real-world ideal weight might actually be - knowing that we, with a bit more effort, could very well make it happen. Do we need to, is it worth it and how would be know?

I have just reached my goal weight of 120 lbs. I don't want to lose any more, but I am not so skinny that I would have to be rushed to A and E if a few more went while I was still fine tuning maintenance. I like the way I look, I love the way I feel, so light, so fit. If anyone says I look gaunt or too thin they can take a running jump.

My current maintenance weight (age 53) is about 4.5 kg above my 'student weight'. I was still losing on 5:2 when I decided to go into maintenance, so I think I could lose more. Some of the 'belly fat' is still remaining, but face and the rest of my body were getting rather slim, so I decided to stop losing and see what maintenance would bring (almost 9 months ago). It feel very good right now. Once in maintenance for a long time, I could alsways decide to go for the extra few kg. loss, but I see no need right now. So, a strategy could be to go for maintenance now, see how it feels (and looks) after some time. Picking up losing again will always be possible if you still have something to lose.

Don't know @scubachick. I'm 49, and am pondering this too. It's hard to look in the mirror and see yourself objectively, especially as all the changes are happening gradually for us.
I've still got 3kg of fat to lose according to a body fat analysis, nearly all around my middle. I'm an apple and my waist to height is 48.9%. So don't really want to stop losing quite yet, but nor do I want to be gaunt, but also know if someone said I was looking gaunt right now, I wouldn't put the weight back on on purpose!
I think @carorees has the idea:

The answer is probably, get yourself photographed and also ask people you really trust to give you an honest view.

Being tired doesn't help the drawn face look!

Thanks for all the wise words folks. I love this site and all the sensible advice. @Barbarita, I agree that it should be about how I feel about myself rather than how others feel. Im just still trying to figure out how I feel!

@Carorees, as I am already a healthy BMI, further weightloss would be for vanity rather than health. So, all the replies here, especially PennyForthem's questions, have made me really think about why I should keep going to lose the 5lbs. Here is what I have come up with:
1: I still have fat bits that I am not loving- the hotpants of lard! @Melinda_in_NC, not long ago we were both the same bmi and I remember replying to a thread of yours about my love handles! So true @adfnfuel, first weight on is the last off. I chortled over the "obnoxious party guest" analogy.
2: weight loss and fasting is still...eemm..are "enjoyable and easy" the right words? Well, I dont mind the fasts and they put a stop to my weekend splurges. Without a Monday fast I think I would keep munching on carbs for the week.
3: I have a couple of weeks away coming up. If I was a bit on the gaunt side beforehand then I wouldn't have so much to lose when I get back.
4: as I get closer to goal I seem to be just losing a bit and gaining a bit. While the overall trend is still downwards, without actively trying to lose weight I fear this trend would go upwards.
5 :@PennyForthem and @Carorees, I think maintenance will be difficult for me regardless of my goal weight. I have reached goal 2 times before on other diets, so I realised that my work really begins with maintenance. This maintenance phase is long fingered while I am still aiming for 140lbs. Perhaps once I have decided to go into maintenance I should stay between 144lbs and 140lbs? If I was the lower end before life's feasting times it might help me to maintain???
6: I get enormous satisfaction achieving something I set my mind to. Be it completing a marathon, giving birth without pain relief or reaching that weight target.

Okay so, I think I have convinced myself to keep going till I reach 140lbs. Then I will get a photo and reassess my maintenance goals.

Firstly well done on your fantastic achievements on this way of life

to your original question though... Quick easy no brainer answer from me.

The moment more than 2 or 3 people have the "too gaunt, tired, lost too much weight look" stop and start maintaining.

It's a subject that Ive mentioned here many a time and for all the reasons mentioned above it is something that needs to be carefully considered.

I hate to say it but ive seen pictures here of some members (not you) that whilst its a wonderful achievement, the weight loss is excessive. Sometimes having a bit of wiggle room by going down a half or full kilo lower than one should may be a strategy, but the problem is when you think of the law of averages... if you are at your ideal weight (trend average), then occasionally you will be under your best weight... and when you are under, visually it can be less attractive.

Health reasons aside, I'm of the believe now that to be just a bit over your ideal average trend weight is a better way to opt. Im still not at my average desired weight due to a recent increase in weight but I am reviewing my long term trend weight goal in the light of all of this.

Definitely look at photos not in the mirror to get a realistic image of yourself. For me, a low body fat and fitness is the most important thing and because I do a lot of sport I don't look gaunt. I'm at the low end of the BMI because I have a narrow body frame and anything over a BMI of of 21 and I look chunky.
Regarding the maintenance, the more exercise you do, the higher your TDEE, the more you can eat, the easier it is to maintain. If I didn't do as much exercise I'd probably find it difficult to maintain.

Regarding the maintenance, the more exercise you do, the higher your TDEE, the more you can eat, the easier it is to maintain. If I didn't do as much exercise I'd probably find it difficult to maintain.

Interesting thought for those nearing or at maintenance. The exercise is good for toning and heart health... but it lets us eat more and satisfy our hunger.

I better get back on my walker!

It's a really difficult question not least because we are all so different, so it's hard to tell based on BMI or clothes size...one person might look gaunt with a BMI of 25 wheras another might still look 'chunky' at a BMI of 21, and where you carry fat also makes a big difference.

I started off wanting to loose more weight than I have, but basically got to the point where I kind of slipped into maintenance, and as my weight/BMI/waist to height ratio are all OK I'm not too motivated to move down to goal, though I sometimes think about losing a bit more. I think the key is how you feel about yourself, whether you want to lose more, and it sounds like to want to try, so go for it!

Also I agree with Franglaise about the power of exercise, for increading TDEE and also for looking better - in my case I am quite pear shaped, and though I have lost a lot of weight from my hips and thighs I was still not in proportion as my waist is now tiny in comparison, but a bit more exercise which has actually led to me gaining a couple of kilos has made my thighs look much better!

Without even noticing (I don't weight myself regularly), I was underweight for weeks. The funny thing is I just had to gain 2kgs to be in normal weight again . It took time to gain these 2 kgs because my body seemed to like that weight, I saw my GP regularly who was fine with it and I was fine with it except I HAD to be in the normal weight, it became an obsession and the more it became an obsession the less I seemed to be able to gain that damn weight. I finally gained back that weight when I really became to relax and not care that much about it.

My mother told me several times I lost too much, I look sick or whatever but I know that it's because she isn't able to lose weight so there's a bit of "jealousy" in her words, even if it's unconscious. Other peoples are quite shocked to see the transformation because, well, I lost half my former weight after all, but they find me prettier now, more feminine as well and almost all the feedback are good, especially now that I am maintaining for quite some time. At first they were like "we'll see how long it will take you to gain the weight back again", now the thoughts are less cynical, more genuine.

I guess the key is to go with how you feel. You will always have bad comments whatever your weight. That's part of life I suppose

My original response turned into an essay and would have thread-jacked so I've edited it.

A lot depends on your body composition is a précis of the following. If you have a modest/athletic body fat percentage, maybe goal weights need to be higher?

This probably isn't relevant to you but as I neared my original goal weight some time ago, I realised that I must have substantially increased my body fat percentage as I was larger than I anticipated that I would be. So, I had a Bod Pod analysis and was devastated to discover that at a BMI of <23, I was in the category of Normal Weight, Morbidly Obese (using the classifications suggested by Shah & Braverman).

Eventually, I had a Dexa scan, after reducing substantially below the original goal weight, and it confirmed that I have a low level of lean body mass (and skeletal muscle) to the point where I'm categorised as sarcopenic (although I'm a bit young to have it to this degree).

I'm now a BMI of <20 and still somewhere between overweight to obese by body fat level (depending on which organisation's criteria are used). If I were a BMI of <17, I'd still have a body fat of >23% (and that's assuming that I lost absolutely no more lean body mass. I could be technically underweight, somewhere between acceptable-overweight by body fat percentage: I have no idea if I'd look slim, gaunt, or skinny-fat.