Yesterday was just awful. The trip to visit mom at the nursing home was worse than usual, the worst yet. 1 1/2 hour drive there, then 3 hours of constant, you need a hair cut and shave your beard, take me to the drug store, your dog needs to see a vet, I want this, I want that, you did this when you were growing up, you did that ... and on and on and on. I'm not the kind to put up with that kind of thing and I told her no, no NO! But it's a contest of who can wear who down. Finally after three hours of putting her in her wheelchair and rolling her around then back in bed then back in the wheel chair I won. A pyrrhic victory maybe but I survived to make it back home (another 1 1/2 hours of driving). It was exhausting, the mental part.
No surprise mom doesn't have any outside visitors and I'm the only living relative in a thousand miles that will go visit her or I wouldn't go. Anyway that's over for another 10 days. When I got home I chowed down, I was wondering what that would that would do to my weight and boy did I find out. Maybe 1500 -2000 calories total but the weight shot up. Most all of it was high fiber stuff and salt. Emotional eating to get my head to quit spinning from that time with mom. She shouldn't last much longer and my eating should be disconnected ... but it wasn't. Another learning experience.
So it's back to fasting today, Maggie and I had our walk a while ago. I need to finish mowing the back yard and lots of saplings to cut down off the fence. Maybe a bike ride later.
This whole thing of what we eat is pretty much parallel to drug/alcohol/smoking ... whatever addiction. Changing a behavior from what it is to what it should be. Even when we know what we should do and not do we still pick the harmful ones because it's the one that gives us the quickest easiest reward. Delayed gratification or relief, it makes our brains happier, at least in the short term.
So I'm back on track and learning more about what I'll need to do when I reach that final goal.
That's it for now, this is a recovery day for me. The days after visiting mom at the nursing home always are.