The FastDay Forum

A lot of people say that when you are skinny everything is much better, you are sexier, more confident, even happier. If only it could be so simple.... I understand just now that the hardest job is not to lose the weight, it's to deal with your body after you have lost the weight and to not freak out because you may gain the weight back if you are not careful. Because it may be why I can't put on those 2 kilos back on right now

@Manderley, I think you are quite right in saying that many people think that losing weight or being slim or skinny will solve all their problems and be the answer to all their prayers but it doesn't work like that. Sure being slim can give you more self confidence, make you look better in your clothes, appear sexier etc but all the old self doubts and insecurities are still there unless you really learn to love and accept yourself. The longer you are at target the more able you will be to deal with all these conflicting emotions and learn to be proud of what you have achieved and not worry about slight fluctuations in your weight. As others have said, you are a real inspiration to many and deserve every happiness. xx

Get that cuppa down you now, you must be exhausted. I can understand you not wanting to put the weight back on. My sis is a very toned size 10 and with added "paid for" boobies. I feel as if I'm slowly sneaking up on her and when we meet she says wow you're looking good. She always looks good in whatever she wears and I always comment about nice things she wears thinking they're designer and then she says oh it's from tescos!
I haven't told my family what I'm doing, just my hubs, daughter, a few work mates and my mate who introduced me to it.
With regards to your sister I really feel for you, and cannot imagine how you're feeling right now, is a reconciliation completely undo able on your terms?
We are all different and you will know when you are ready for anything.
But you have been a success and an inspiration to many of us and that's something to be very proud of.

Let me explain a bit the situation with my "sister". She was 9 when I was born. Heavy premature, I nearly died, well, the nursed even told my mum I was dead at the hospital. After that, I was sick for quite some time. I slept in my parents room until I was 5. I had convulsions the morning and, when I was 3 I had infectious mononucleosis which is very rare at that age. Oh and she pushed me under a car when I was about 5 but that's another story

All that to say she never forgave me to be born and she hated me since day one. So, non, no reconciliation possible, I don't need that "person" in my life.

@Manderley, I think you are quite right in saying that many people think that losing weight or being slim or skinny will solve all their problems and be the answer to all their prayers but it doesn't work like that. Sure being slim can give you more self confidence, make you look better in your clothes, appear sexier etc but all the old self doubts and insecurities are still there unless you really learn to love and accept yourself. The longer you are at target the more able you will be to deal with all these conflicting emotions and learn to be proud of what you have achieved and not worry about slight fluctuations in your weight. As others have said, you are a real inspiration to many and deserve every happiness. xx

My weight began to change the day I felt more confident and began to really believe I was a loveable woman. I mean that I could be loved however my size and shape. My OH gave me the kick in the butt I needed and said "you are beautiful but you would be even more beautiful if you were more confident, look yourself in the mirror, shower without the need to be in the dark and to become that woman, you need to lose weight and I'll be there every step of the way."

Do you know what a relieve it was to know for sure I was not alone ? I had his support, I could tell him my frustrations and, more than that, he saw every little inches I lost. I mean, even when I didn't lose a lot at a time he saw it and congratulated me and told me how proud he was to walk hand in hand with a strong woman.

Now I am learning to love that body, that skin that need a bit of time to be toned and to not see the chubby woman I was in the mirror. That's one of the reason I still wear clothes too big for me. Plus, with people who tells me things like "you became anorexic, you should see a doctor", it doesn't help....

My GP I saw for my foot was astonished by all the weight I lost and congratulated me. Sure, I am a tiny bit underweight but not that much to be a problem and I don't look gaunt at all, you can't see my bones, you know, like you can see the rib cage of very skinny women. He told me that jealousy could make people say nasty things to hurt. Maybe he's right, however I am working on it, I am sure building muscles will help and I need to give some time to people around me who are used to the me of before. I must be difficult for them to see the new me as it is difficult for me. No need to give them nasty thoughts they may not have

Great to hear you are 'loving yourself' more Manderley as you become more accepting of your new slim shape. Hopefully in time you will be able to cast off the baggy clothes and like a beautiful butterfly emerge from your chrysalis and astound everyone! x

I think you're doing the right thing. I admire you and thank you for opening your heart to us.

Lovely post Manderley. We all love you here, so ignore anyone who might comment negatively on your body. It's your body, not theirs.

I had a bit of thoughts after @Callyannaexpressed her concerned on another post; For those who don't know, I am doing my 4th kind of fast this week, which is a lot, I know, even more when you reached your target.

I don't think it's a kind of control, just a lack of hunger. I don't plan to keep going that way, in fact it wasn't even planned. Let's not forget that tuesday was a "false" fast or a semi fast as we went out for a pizza (well, half of a pizza for me but still). I have to break old habits and build new ones. While I was losing weight I did Mondays and Tuesdays fast back to back, which I shouldn't do anymore. But how do you break this kind of habit after months ? Even during the Holidays I kept doing it.

Another habit to break is trying to not focus on the calories and bring on some fat in my plate. I can't help myself but trying to make something the lowest cal possible. The sight of heavy cream or crème fraîche scared me. I am thinking cholesterol and diabetes and how to "live long and prosper" which never happened before.

As I said, losing the weight is only part of the work. Before I was transparent, now people see me. How scary is it to be seen and to not be able to hide behind your body ?

Don't get me wrong, I feel great, really happy to have lose all that weight and to be prettier than I was before, it's just that it's a huge change when you are used to not be noticed or looked at and I am still in the adjustment phase.

Hi again Manderley, have commented on the today's fasting thread but just to repeat accepting your new slim body shape will take time and this period of adjustment is important in trying to change old eating habits of a life time. I still struggle sometimes with the 'fat is bad' belief ingrained in my brain even though I know it's not true so small steps and just try introducing good fats in nuts, seeds, yogurt if you can't stomach coconut oil or thick cream. x

That's the big thing, all my life I read and heard "fat is bad". Now I hear "fat is good, sugar and carbs are bad". My mum went to see a dietetician this week and I was astonished by all that woman told her to do. For her, for example, you still need to have, at least, 3 meals a day, even more, and you will put on weight if you miss one, you can imagine how much I can't agree with this one.....

That's one of the reason I stopped saying that I fast 2 or 3 days a week months ago because of all the truths we learned younger, like my mum forcing me to have breakfast everyday, even if I didn't want to, because if I didn't eat, I would go hungry and eat junk food instead. I may try to stick to some nuts and maybe yogurt. Oh and try to not steam everything as well because I am a big steamer...

To give me self confidence, I will try a kind of a strange approach, a corset. Well, a under-bust one, not the whole thing of it. Why ? Because it will force me to stand tall and help me to not hide as much as I did until now. It will teach me a different way to breathe as well.

Hi Manderley. Just wanted to congratulate you on winning the inspiring story award

Hi @Manderley
I second @rawkaren. A totally awsome winner
and top blogger Karen

As for the fat thingy intake I'm beginning to take some of the information in slowly from everyone on this forum and am passing on to my sister. I started to put the fats back into my life because all of you guys were doing and I had no idea why I was doing this just following your lead.
I'm now trying so hard to get back on track after the xmas gain and did back2back fasts plus a half fast plus a "junk" day when away from home, felt good all week and that "thinner" feeling scale day Friday small gain have just measured no change there, this WOL is so strange how come I feel so good and yes callyanna being the correct weight doesn't solve everything, yes for me I am getting more confident in myself and my " interim" size because I may be stuck at the moment but release some more
weight + flab I will do deffo.

:heart: Hi @Manderley
I second @rawkaren. A totally awsome winner
and top blogger Karen

As for the fat thingy intake I'm beginning to take some of the information in slowly from everyone on this forum and am passing on to my sister. I started to put the fats back into my life because all of you guys were doing and I had no idea why I was doing this just following your lead.
I'm now trying so hard to get back on track after the xmas gain and did back2back fasts plus a half fast plus a "junk" day when away from home, felt good all week and that "thinner" feeling scale day Friday small gain have just measured no change there, this WOL is so strange how come I feel so good and yes callyanna being the correct weight doesn't solve everything, yes for me I am getting more confident in myself and my " interim" size because I may be stuck at the moment but release some more
weight + flab I will do deffo.

Morning @sue.q. Double congrats to our double winner. You are totally adorable in all of your posts. Always positive Sorry Manderley for hijacking your thread whilst we group hug.

Hijack all you want Karen

I am on an ipad so will answer properly later
Thank you both

Group hug accepted @rawkaren and no higack because @Manderley was in the centre of our virtual hug


Blimey she was as well lol x

Hugs, virtual or not, are always welcome


So, today is a new step. I thought hard about what @Callyanna said and I decided to change things a bit. Today is a fast but one where I won't count the calories as I usually do to be in the 500cal, plus I include good fat as I need them. I found a quinoa, avocado, oranges and pistachios salad which looks very good and, with that, I'll make a french onion soup to add some warmth. I have no idea on how many calories all that will be but I don't want to know. For now anyway.

Between the avocado and pistachios I think there should be plenty of good fat in there for a night, some proteins with the quinoa

Here's the salad recipe

http://84thand3rd.com/2013/08/13/moroccan-quinoa-avocado-orange-salad/

And the French onion soup recipe, I only put chicken broth instead of the beef one

http://magazine.foxnews.com/print/recipe/70-calorie-french-onion-soup


I shall have 2 other fasts this week, one Wednesday and the last one Saturday as it's the "soup test day" as well

Everybody knows that "la peur n'évite pas le danger" which can be translated by "fear doesn't avoid the danger". While I am scarred to put on weight I still lose a little which is not good. Will I have the control on how much I'll gain ? No but, even if I gain a little too much, it's no big deal.


Baby steps......

That sounds yummy manderley. Did you see the post from @janeg this morning? All the latest thinking on nutrition in one place.