The FastDay Forum

You have been an inspiration thank you

well done and good to hear from you, keep posting, we worry if we don't hear from you for a while

Hey @Manderley Belated Happy Fastiversary
You are such a roll model for those of us with loads of
Pounds/Kilos to lose a very inspirational member with a still ongoing story to tell good luck to you in life & love.

@Silverdarling, it''s still a bit chaotic but it should be better in the next few days as I have decided to step aside a bit, take a deep breath and focus on my look for a job....

The biggest surprise of all was learning that, even when you reach your goal, it's not even close to be finished and you have to be prepare to fight for the rest of your life, FOR REAL. I really envy naturally thin people, the ones who can eat whatever they want and their weight will stay the same. Or people like my OH who can binge however he wants as he will easily lose the weight he gained, even at 55 years old. It's not my case. To lose or to gain weight is a struggle and, as I am quite short, even a few pounds/kilos, make a difference. So I decided to take a different view on the matter and try to focus on something else.

That's why I tried yoga. Not for the spiritual thing, that I don't believe, by the way, but to help me to relax (which I don't know how to do on my own). Since when I began, which is about 2 weeks, I learned that it really makes my muscles work and I can really see a difference in how I look and how I feel, which is great as exercises like the 30 day shred don't agree with me. Also I can do them at home, whenever I want, which is the best of all.

Some of you know that I only grow grocery shopping once a month. I shop for OH, my 2 indoor cats and me so it's a BIG trip which ask for planning in advance. So, I was looking at my pantry content (even if I won't go before next week) and woaw how things have changed.....

I used to buy a biscuit pack a week for us to take with our lunch coffee and, in a month (3 weeks and 3/4 to be exact), we only ate one that is not even finished yet. We also love these candies, which are made of liquorice and caramel

http://www.thefrenchiegrocery.com/en/candies/203-krema-batna-liquorice-and-caramel-candies-bag-360-g-.html

And these gummy bears (well, not these but similar to these, except they have black ones, both our favourites )

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gummy_bear

and both packs are still half full after a month, with 2 people "on them"

We also didn't buy chocolate for months and still have some left

It may sound bad but, for me, it's excellent. It means that we still enjoy our favourite treats but with great moderation, And you know what ? I really enjoy them 100 times more now than when I ate half a pack

I didn't come here for quite some time now but I think there is some need for me to write a little bit about some things I am dealing with

I was trying some clothes I have in the back of my wardrobe and am a bit shocked. I was used to wear clothes too big for me for years and I look so different now.... I mean, I can't recognize myself. My dad took a picture of me without my knowledge (I had Happy in my arms) and it really was shocking. After months maintaining I am still not used to the "new me". How long do you think it will take ? I am quite surprised that after all this time, there are still some image issues.

It's no big deal, I am just surprised.

My body is still changing, even if I am only maintaining for 8 months now. My waist, thighs, they all changing shapes, I can feel it with how I wear my clothes. The big disappointment comes from all the stretched marks I "gained" since last year. I don't think there is a bit of my body where there are none. How is it possible ? The good news is I have a fair skin, I am a natural red head, so they don't really show but I KNOW they are here and it bothers me, I must admit.

It's a big lesson for me, losing weight, getting in shape is not necessarily the answer...

@Manderley
Love all of your he babies on your avatar
You've done an amazing job Manderley not just the weightloss but also the exercise that'll help with the ever changing toning on your body, you've tackled it at just the right time because it gets so much harder to pull back as we age, so worry not there's plenty of time for things to keep changing for you.
I know what you mean with the shock of seeing yourself re: photo or in a mirror, the shape change that this WOL brings us it truly amazing, I'm only half way through my journey god knows what I'll look like at the end

An old dried up wrinkly prune
oversized of course comes to mind!!

Take care of yourself and hope you find your mum
a little better today, she's in good hands.

@Manderley, congratulations on your 8 months in maintenance. I'm about to say nothing that you don't already know and practise.

I look so different now.... I mean, I can't recognize myself. My dad took a picture of me without my knowledge (I had Happy in my arms) and it really was shocking. After months maintaining I am still not used to the "new me". How long do you think it will take ? I am quite surprised that after all this time, there are still some image issues.
...
It's a big lesson for me, losing weight, getting in shape is not necessarily the answer...

Russ Lane is someone who's been in maintenance for approx. 10 years. One of his stories is that shortly after reaching his original goal (180lbs and 10% body fat from 350lbs) he visited an amusement park.

My companion, Emma, and I rode a log flume, which took your picture at its peak. While drying off we searched for the photo. I couldn't find us. Finally Emma pointed me out. "You're right there, silly!" My head jerked back: "Who is that guy beside you"...

As we waited in pudgy-legged line for the Chair-o-Planes...I had my first real Fat Flashback: The previous attempt to ride a Chair-o-Plane was barely squeezing into the chair in front of my journalist companions. They said nothing -- they didn't have to. You can only imagine my surprise, 200+ less pounds later, I broke into sweat approaching the chair. I knew I was not going to fit into that chair. I talked myself down from the panic: "Russ, you're being ridiculous. You just lost 200 pounds. Sit in the ...chair."

So I took three deep breaths, closed my eyes and sat. I was stunned. "I don't feel the bars." I didn't feel the bars! In some ways, this is your congratulatory "I did it!" weight loss success story moment.

That euphoria was dwarfed by an unforeseen reaction: existential horror. The reality of what I had spent two years doing set in. I had completely changed my life on a cellular level. And yet emotionally? I was just warming up.

So, yes, not being able to recognise yourself and taking a while to adapt to the new self seem to be common. (I know several women on another board have failed to recognise themselves in shopping aisles when they've caught glimpses of themselves in ceiling mirrors, on CCTV etc. - they were far more slender than they felt.)

It's a big lesson for me, losing weight, getting in shape is not necessarily the answer...

One thing that I'm not sure about - agreed getting in shape isn't necessarily the answer, but I'm not entirely sure what your question was? Was it related to image issues? If so, no, merely getting is shape probably isn't sufficient for many weight-reduced people. That's why some weight-reduced people opt for cosmetic surgery (not an option that I wish to explore). You're probably young enough that you'll keep improving your body composition and as for the stretch marks, it's excellent that altho' you know they exist, they're not apparent to others.

I remember reading how some people would do anything to put back on the weight they lost rather than deal with the "new them" they didn't recognize or weren't capable to deal with. It was too much of a shock for them. I can understand that now, even if I wouldn't do it.

We are supposed to think that losing weight, being thin and being able to dress in the "normal size" will change things for the best. It's not that simple. I mean, if I take my case for example, I didn't put on the weight on because I binged, I never was a big eater, I put on the weight because of a trauma. I lost the weight part because I took care of that trauma. However, even if I have a great partner and even if that thing is far away in the past, the reasons why I put on the weight in the first place are still here.

Let's not forget that, the last picture of me was taken in 2006 and I guess I will always hate pictures, except for when I was a little girl, I was a cute baby and toddler

So I guess it's about self image but not only. My knees and my back still hurt as much as they did before, I still am insomniac, losing weight and finding some balance didn't change that. Nor did it change my awkwardness or how I don't want to be the focus of attention (and imagine how gigantic boobs make people look at me differently now that I am a tiny little thing..... A tiny little thing with gigantic boobs ! )

What I am trying to say is that losing weight, getting in shape is not something magical, at the end of the day, you still are who you are, even if you don't always recognize who you are anymore. Aouch, I give myself a headache now....

One year and a half I began a diet and my body is still changing...
Here's what I "discovered" these past few weeks : If I eat anything, and I mean anything even a nut, I am doomed for the day.

My body like to only have a meal a day. Really really like. I don't mean that I am fasting 5 times a week, far from it. In fact I really fast once a week and have a one meal day once or twice as well. Those days I will eat a "normal" meal around 6:30PM. It changed everything. I mean, since I do that, I have more energy, I sleep much better and no mood swings even on the "bad week of the month" !

I know that the maintenance phase can seem a bit boring at times but for me it's the opposite. I mean, even after all this time, my body is still changing, it's fascinating. It's getting leaner, the skin is slowwwwwwwly catching up (but there's still a bit of work), I have a waist for the first time in 20 years (and darn I love the hourglass figure ) and it seems that, losing the weight makes me look younger as, these days, people think I am 10 years younger that I am

I am so sorry for not being here these days.

I tried to find excuses like I am really busy, which I am, by the way, but the truth is, I have a bit of a breakdown.

It has nothing to do with the forum, I still think it's wonderful place with wonderful and interesting people. It has to do with these past year and all the complications. I think I have reach my breaking point.

I should be happy, Happy, our border terrier is home and he's a real joy to be around, I have a wonderful man who is supportive. He doesn't know I have this kind of a breakdown, btw, he has enough worries in his life without adding one and I don't talk about these things anyway. To anyone. I think it's easier to admit I have this thing here because there is no consequences in my "real life". It's difficult to explain. In real life I tend to be a cooker pressure, I keep everything to myself. I deal with things on my own.

Right now my dream would be to take my OH and furry babies on a desert island and stay there for weeks.....


The good news is even this upset I don't turn to food so my weight is still the same, my BMI is still around 18.50 so nothing has changed on that front.

So sorry to hear that Manderley but I'm sure your lovely man would be upset if he knew you were suffering in silence and not sharing how you are feeling with him? You need his love and understanding even more right now so please think about opening up to him and talking about your state of mind. I know you are a very private person but maybe a chat with your doctor might help as you sound depressed and really down. Big hugs and hope you soon start to feel better.x

Manderley. Sorry to read this. Just wanted to send you love and hugs.

Dear Manderley, I agree with Cally that talking with someone would help. Close members of my family who have had breakdowns have greatly benefited from talking with counselors, support organizations and even Crisis Line (Samaritan) counselors. Your doctor should be able to make recommendations.

Meanwhile, we are here

I am more fed up than depressed. Most of the time, I am fine, it's just that dealing with one crisis after another is exhausting.

Talking with a "professional" wouldn't help, I hate their guts and find them condescending. My GP would be too worried so it wouldn't help either.

OH has a lot to deal with as his daughter's best friend, who is 25, just had an accident which left him tetraplegic. You can understand that I don't want to add stress to the situation.

I need to go to my woman cave, everything will be better after.