The FastDay Forum

Hello Claire

Firstly, a huge well done for coming back onto the forum. That is really a big step.

I don't need to tell you that you are among friends here - but more importantly, you are among like-minded people. Please remember that fact........because it seems to me that there is such a wealth of knowledge and compassion on this forum. I am so impressed with all the postings you have had so far and I am sure that you will meet nothing but support for your current situation.

I am a relative newbie. Joined the forum in December after starting 5:2 at the end of November. I have yo-yoed all of my adult life. Last year, I started a diet in February (calorie controlled) and managed to lose 2st 4lbs by July. People were starting to notice the weight-loss, which boosted my self esteem even though I was nowhere close to my target. Then I suddenly went down with an unpleasant cold virus...........and for some unknown reason, I jacked it all in. Comfort ate for England.....& ended up being the largest I have ever been, plus of course, deeply unhappy. Talk about sabotage! What possessed me to ruin all my hard work? Here's what I believe:-

~ Life
~ Habit
~ Depression
But more importantly......the fact that I have never really got to grips with the psychological reason for being overweight.

Food has always been my friend, my comforter. It has been the one constant in my life - & I'm sure I'm not alone! At 51 years old, that's an awful lot of habit to break......

So, we fail every so often? That's called being human.
But, if we can start to gradually make better choices, whilst recognising the triggers, we will undoubtedly succeed in the end. The whole concept of fasting is to allow some normality around food.....some/most of the time. There is no sense of constant deprivation - unlike most diets.

Despite understanding all that - yesterday, I went out for lunch with friends. Had cod & chips, followed by an unexpectedly huge portion of chocolate orange pavlova (you will appreciate how rude it would have been not to scoff the lot). A little voice in my head said "So, having eaten all that, you won't need much for tea".....but the opposing voice said "No, stuff that! I am feeling a little down, so I'm going to eat something nice for tea" (my standard way of thinking). By the end of the evening, I had eaten a largish portion of chicken supreme with rice, a bowl of home made hazelnut ice cream and a family bag of Galaxy Counters. Heaven knows why I did that....other than the fact that I have always done it....and it is my typical reaction to feeling a bit down.

So, Claire, you are definitely not alone if you struggle with food...or more to the point, your relationship with it.

I was so moved when I read your thread. My heart went out to you.....& that's without really knowing your story at all. It just struck a few chords with me & I knew I couldn't just write a couple of lines & hope that you would be OK. Although I have written about me, it is an attempt to show you that on this forum, you will always find empathy. Many of us will relate to your situation and there will be so many helpful viewpoints for when you can't see the wood for the trees. Which is now...........

If you do nothing else, Claire, spend time getting inspired on this forum. Read a lot. The stats are incredible! Check out the people that started where you are now & see how they have fared. Dream about becoming a mainteneer! It is within all our grasps. Maybe not this year, or even next, but when we get there, we won't ever get into such bad shape again! Doesn't that sound brilliant??

I wish you all the luck in the world. Please keep posting!

Big hugs xx

Lots of good advice here Claire. Aren't struggles with food hard! It's not fair, why does it have such a pull on some of us. One step at a time and keep in contact as we are all here for you.

@Hazelnut20, what a brave woman you are! I sometimes think that there is a lot of talk about what to eat, but not about why & how we eat. How wonderful that you can be that vulnerable in public, and say that depression is a big reason you eat. That's really awesome! I also eat when I'm depressed, and have done a lot of psychological work on it over the years, and there's always more to find out about ourselves, but sometimes it's a warrior's journey - by that I mean, IMHO, sometimes we need to answer back & fight with our internal figures who do not always wish us well, instead of only collapsing into our "victim self" - which is, btw, a comfortable place to be sometimes for a short while, but it's unlikely to lead to anything amazing & revolutionary happening in our lives. So good for you for setting us all such a good example & talking about WHY we overeat in such a touching & personal way. Thank you so much!

Just read your post again, @Hazelnut20, and I read "mountaineer" when you wrote "maintaineer". Well, I think that's actually very appropriate too, since all of us who struggle with emotional eating issues have big mountains to climb. We need the right equipment (factual knowledge) and support (like on this wonderful forum!), we need to find our inner strengths to battle unpredictable weather & terrain and hopefully arrive at the summit eventually, (maybe by the scenic route!) by a combination of good luck & good management. And then...there are more surrounding mountains to climb, around maintaining our goal. But it's also a journey of self-discovery, to know our weaknesses and our strengths, and to use them all as a path to get to the summit. Even though I've been working on myself psychologically for a while (again, with the help of many people!), I still feel that I have a lot to discover, and certainly more kgs to farewell, before I can reach my own personal summit. But I'm loving the journey.

At the risk of getting too florid with the metaphors, I'm kinda thinking it might be nice to have a mountaineers' tent on the Fastonbury Glamping Grounds, for those of us who are interested in sharing our inner experiences around our relationship with food. I can think of a couple of people who might be interested, @Jo05, for instance,am I outing you here? I reckon those of us who do the hard yards on ourselves deserve some shelter & companionship of fellow travellers - what do others think??

So happy to see you back Claire. I've missed you and I've been thinking about you, that maybe you've been having a hard time. Welcome back sweetheart.
Also thank you so much for those thoughtful and beautiful posts @Hazelnut20 and @jools7. You certainly have a way with words Hazelnut.you had me chuckling about the pav and then no dinner turning into a dinner feast- been there. I'd be happy to be in the new tent.
Xxx julianna

[janeg]

*waves* hello Claire. Good to see you again.

Just popping on quick at work to say I am here, I have a cereal bar to have around 11-12 and cucumber sticks and turkey slices at lunch. I also have a banana and a yogurt for snacks. Updated my weight and do not like my new BMI at all...

One day at a time
Thanks so much everyone for your support - i really appreciate it x

Mountaineers Tent? Yes please to that - with knobs on!

Right there with you Jools. Thank you so much for your thoughtful posts. I would definitely welcome the chance to get to the bottom of exactly why I and others overeat/comfort eat.

Think your idea is excellent! In my case, I don't overeat because I am hungry......so there must be some other reason lurking in the shadows. Halfway through the Galaxy Counters family bag (!) I stopped enjoying them.....but stupidly and typically, carried on scoffing til I got to the end. What's that all about??!!

The strange thing is, I have absolutely no trouble with the fast days. I can be a very strong willed and stubborn person when I put my mind to it, but I also have a problem with self-sabotage. I wouldn't dream of not sticking to my fast & have never cheated. The non-fast days are a totally different story though! Think that needs delving into......

Will save myself for our new tent! Have a busy morning ahead, but will log back in later and see if anyone has started it, or start it if no one else has!

Thanks everyone! Have a good day, whatever you are doing.....xxx

Well done @Claire23 You may not like it but its great watching it reduce don't forget mine was over 44!!!
Good luck for today but you don't need luck you do need determination so go for it girl. Sue

PS maybe a salad box full of leaves and small portion of protein would be a better choice the cereal bar would give me the hunger pangs which you don't need.

Hiya

Big hug from me Claire, you sound so down in your posts. I know how it feels to hate yourself for being a 'failure' and it's never a good place to restart a way of eating (it's not a diet!!) as you start from a place of self-loathing and feeling unworthy and self-denial and you'll probably set yourself really high standards (I'm never eating chocolate again!) and then you will, inevitably, fall short and then hate yourself even more. It's a horrible cycle.

I guess a good place to start would be by thinking about your motivation for losing weight - is it to feel healthier, happier, fitter, more energetic? Then think about other things that can contribute to that feeling other than food - a good half hour walk, laughing with family and friends, a relaxing massage, and do some of those things first. Have a look at some healthy food blogs to find inspiration for foods that are not necessarily low-calorie but are nutrient-rich, satisfying and delicious, that will make you feel like you are doing yourself good on the inside without being deprived (my favourite websites are http://keepinghealthygettingstylish.com/ and http://ohsheglows.com/). Imagine what a day's 'good eating' would look like if it was laid out on your table, and how you would feel if you ate like that. Use those mental pictures when shopping (hanging around in the fruit & veg aisle a bit longer than usual!). These are some strategies I use to help me. Maybe enjoy some healthier food without restrictions before starting to think about 'rules' of when you can & can't eat.

And lastly, just remember that you are so much more than the way you look. Your friends and family love you for your personality, your kindnesses and for just being you, so try and see yourself through their eyes. If you love yourself a bit more then you may not want to wrap yourself up in food for comfort.

I'm sure you will be fine, and maybe I have gone over the top, but I just recognise those feelings you were talking about.

All the best xx

Well done Claire! Good to hear how you are doing today.

Would you like to join our Mountaineers Tent when we start it up (see Jools' posts)? Think it might be helpful.....

Best of luck for today - let us know how it went when you get to the end of it.....xx

Rainbow Rainbow Rainbow

(for some reason, can't access all the smilies on my laptop today...so had to write "Rainbow" instead. You've all seen them, so you know what they look like, ha ha!!

[Debs]

Consider the Mountaineering Tent up and running as of now!

Claire, hi!

I have been staying away from the forums but I was tagged in a post and noticed this and thought I'd pop by and drop my twopence. I haven't read all replies so please forgive me if I repeat something someone else has already said.

Have you ever thought that the original 5:2 might not be for you? I have determined that it is definitely not for me, so I'm not "just sayin"...

After losing two love ones, I discovered that I was in no way in the position to fast. I wasn't in the position to do 16:8 either, I just wanted to eat, eat, eat. What did I do? I came up with a way to do 5:2 and eat at the same time.

When I was trying to lose weight, I realised that I couldn't do it with 5:2 and I added two days of Dukan's attack (you only eat low fat protein, nothing more). After a while, I realised that all the weight was gone after the days of the attack, not the 500 cals days (I weigh daily and back then I kept a food diary). So what did I do? 5:2 or 4:3 but instead of 500 cals I just ate whatever is allowed on the attack days.

What I also discovered is that low fat protein is low cal too. So even if I was eating the quantities I fancied, I never exceeded 1000 calories. Yes, it was more than 500 but I was losing weight while eating as much as I wanted and without being hungry or keeping it within 8 hours. Utter bliss, if you ask me!

So, please give this a thought, you might find it easier than it sounds. And if you have a sweet tooth, there are plenty of sugar-free options out there!

Good luck!

Just popping on quick at work to say I am here, I have a cereal bar to have around 11-12 and cucumber sticks and turkey slices at lunch. I also have a banana and a yogurt for snacks. Updated my weight and do not like my new BMI at all...

One day at a time
Thanks so much everyone for your support - i really appreciate it x

Attagirl @Claire23. One step at a time. First step taken. Well done.

I don't know what to say to help but just wanted to give you a big hug! You hang in there girl!