The FastDay Forum

Weightloss industry is big business. They have conditioned us to a certain way of doing things from buying gym memberships, certain foods, diet aids etc. Simply not eating equals no profit for any of them.

I've had mixed reviews... A work colleague said "it's a ridiculous, stupid bloody diet!" She's never needed to diet. My Mum started 5:2 before me and my sister has just started.
I'm getting a huge kick out of people noticing my weight loss!!

Xx

You know, I've just returned to work following a very long maternity leave period and at first had a lot of comments of about my weight loss...all positive. But when I say I've got a bit more too lose suddenly it's all "you don't want to go overboard, there'll be nothing left of you!". Also I've been running in my lunchbreak as I fast on work days and think running is better than watching others eat. But I've even got some negative comments about that (some positive too, not everyone is negative!). But I've decided that it's not out of concern but jealousy of my 'easy' weight loss and my motivation and energy to get out and exercise.

I just ignore what people say now; I know me and I know what I can achieve. I just nod and smile and do what I want anyway ;0)

In your own mind, are you well? Do you feel at risk of an eating disorder? Are you in control? If you can answer yes to all these, ignore any future comments.

Yes to first question, not to no 2 and yes to no 3.
I've never felt more in control in my life! Nor as healthy! And definitley no to an eating disorder!

Think you're both right. WE've shared a weight problem for a while; I can foresee some bumpy times ahead...

Just an update on this. We went out for lunch yesterday and I opted for salad instead of chips with my chicken. I got a tirade of 'not losing any more or I'll look awful' to 'being obsessed' and, when I said I was happily maintaining my weight and didn't want to lose more, to 'shut up about your weight'.
Seeing as it wasn't me who mentioned it in the first place, I gladly did so. The rest of the meal passed in rather stilted conversation, which was very sad.

Well @PennyForthem you look beautiful to us. Obviously you have been very successful. It must bother your friend.

If you are happy that is what matters.

Oh Penny ((((hugs)))) that is really sad. You've clearly tried so hard to avoid this becoming an issue between you and she won't let it drop. It's obviously a huge problem for her.

My only suggestion is that maybe it's time for a heartfelt letter explaining how sad you are and expressing a wish to not lose a long term friend over such a personal matter that actually affects nobody but yourself. Perhaps you could suggest that in the future, you don't go out for lunch but rather, have coffee and cake instead? Or do something that doesn't involve food.

If after that she is still hostile then at least you have tried your best.

I lost friends when I first lost weight many years ago; this time I've only had positive reactions but I think I've been lucky. Certainly last time I endured a lot of catty comments and I was always tickled by the 'don't get too thin' one when I've never been less than 11 stone and I'm 5'4

Yes, Penny, it is very sad--she must be feeling very insecure indeed to show such hostility about your success. I hope the two of you can patch up your long-standing relationship

Oh @PennyForthem - it is so sad the way your friend is treating you.

A true friend should support you in life, stand by you and applaud your achievements.

She sounds like she is taking out her own frustration/s with whatever she is unhappy about on you which is so unfair or.... she could just be plain jealous of you (sorry if that is an unkind thing to say about her but she's not being very nice to you and you deserve better)

Sending you a big hug

It is very sad, I hope you receive an apology Penny. As it was uncomfortably silent surely she must have taken something away to think about?

If I found myself in your situation with a good friend I would ask to meet up, say that I value the friendship and forewarn her it's to discuss the conversation so eating and weight can be put to bed in a healthy way. It may transpire that she would actually like some help and that she is 'stuck'?

I'd choose salad too! especially if it was a fab one! I love what I eat and I eat what I love ..............

@PennyForthem that's just dreadful.......hmmmm, I think it's jealousy. I think if anyone told me to 'shut up', which is jolly rude in itself, when I hadn't started the conversation on the subject in the first place, might have got the short end of my tongue! Grrrrrrrrr send them round to me!

Penny do you need 'friends' like this? perhaps a bit of 'cold shoulder' might do them good.

@PennyForthem you are very tolerant - I think I would have lost patience, got up and walked out.

I know my mother will disapprove and try to sabotage me and make me feel stupid, I of course will react like a petulant 41yo teenager

The funny thing is my upcoming visit and how to break the fasting news has been on my mind all day today, then I saw your post. I love my Mum and we are very close, don't want my fasting to spoil visit so am going to have to work out how to deal with the negative comments before I get there rather than regressing 25years and going off to my bedroom for a strop

Hi Jude, when I told my mum about 5:2 she was negative and defensive, it was helpful for me that my sister is also sharing this WOE so we had some support.

Anyway 6 weeks on she is changing her mind a little, she has noticed I have lost weight and said I looked nice.

She says she doesn't disagree with the 'diet' as such just not happy about me not eating all day!! She doesn't see the huge plateful of veg and fish I usually have for dinner!

By the way I am 44 and also still feel like a teenager when I am with her sometimes!

Mum's - you've got to love them!! Good luck with yours!

I am totally the same with my mum. I am overweight but anytime I go on a diet I have to do it secretively to avoid her opinions.

@PennyForthem hi Penny just read the whole thing right through...
@BBT053 s put it in a nutshell...it IS her prob not yours..
I agree with @TML13 too...she isn't a really very good friend..seems to see you as a rival when it comes to looks,rather than be happy for you that this WOL works..
she's a longtime friend and there's fondness there,so I think@Winsome has come up with the perfect solution to helping things run smoothly...meet to do non food related things..or for coffee and cake..
They say we have some friends for a reason,some for a season and some for life. Could it be your season has run its course x

Penny, I think your 'friend' might benefit from Janeg's wet fish treatment

Ballerina x

Thank you, oh wise ones.
I've thought long and hard about this. Despite her many issues (many health related) and our apparent differences, I am very fond of her. I accept that her quirky ways are not my quirky ways and that outspoken criticism is not the way forward.
It may be that the friendship does drift apart (as it has in the past, but we have always resumed it) but I don't want to sever it completely. I will be careful about 'managing' it, so the 'chips' on the shoulder are minimised.