The FastDay Forum

Oh my, and as I thought that we're done with resurrections, LOL!!!

Penny, could it be that as the chips go from your plate, they sit themselves on her shoulder?

Joking aside, I understand that you might wish to keep this friendship even if it seems that you are worlds apart. I have one friend with whom I have nothing in common. NOTHING! She is unhappily married, I am happily single and that's perhaps the least of our differences. BUT, she was my best friend in elementary school. We've been through heaven and hell together and we love each other very much. On the other hand, she IS quite supportive and so am I (I wasn't when she told me that she's getting married to that bastard but it was my obligation as a friend).

Anyway, not doing things that might spark an argument sounds wise. BUT (big but, bold, underlined, with spotlights on it) do search inside your heart and soul and mind and think well... Is she really your friend? We know that you are hers but how about her? Does she lover you? Value your friendship? Respect you? Admire you? Wants your happiness? Is she happy when you do things that make you happy even if she doesn't do or approve them?

If the answer to any of the above is NO, then do yourself a favour and walk away. We don't need negativity in our lives and we shouldn't allow it, no matter who brings it. And especially if the person who brings it is -supposedly?- our friend!

That's my twopence, hope it helps!

This is very difficult.

I have had the same.

To be honest I don't know how I would have done it with out this WOE as lower back strain this time last year prevent cardio exercise.

Anyway I'm down 2.5 stone and nearly 4 inches off my waist.

You carry on.

Here's the old thread I was looking for that I thought you all may enjoy reading. Has your friend come to accept your weight loss now that you have been slim for so long @PennyForthem? Does she still comment on your reduced size lunch choices? Does anyone else have this problem?
Xxx julianna

Yes whats the latest Penny?
Wd be nice if she'd a taken a leaf from yr book but i know she hasnt,form what you said the other day

I come from a family of very overweight people lol. My oldest sister is the shortest and lightest of us but even she is overweight. And she did this a few years ago for a wedding and slimmed right down. She's doing it again now. My other sister wants to do it but isn't in the right frame of mind and will join us when it's right for her. My brother started but hasn't continued. We are all apples too, included the men lol. Well maybe they are more planks lol. My Dad is 18 stone but was 25!! In the last year he has lost 6 stone just by eating less. He used to graze all the time. He has done fantastic himself. He just loves me going to see him each week telling him how much I have lost and raves about me to anyone that will listen lol. He obviously knows what an achievement weight loss is and loves to see me happy because he knows better than anyone how being fat makes me feel and how much I wanted to lose it. My Mum is no longer with us but she although a size 12/14 most of her adult life struggled to keep at that weight and because she had very skinny legs looked larger than she was. My Dad has always been big, in and out of hospital for years as a kid but with no real answer. He ate the same food as his skinny brother as a child. But anyhow, so we kids are following in Dads size, Mums shape. I have to say that even as a fat women I always felt pretty and actually sexy., my mantra 'Copnfidence is what makes you sexy'. But that stopped working for me with my first purchase of a size 28 dress lol and emotionally my mind collapsed lol. Fasting has fixed that. I always felt good about myself because my Mum and my Dad, and family and friends have always said nice things to me. Mum and Dad always no matter my size said I looked great. Like mum I'm a groomer lol. I'm a hair and makeup girl, nails always manicured and I love clothes. Over the years from acquaintances, never friends I have heard this comment 'you would be so pretty if you lost weight', gee, thanks! And 'if you look this good at this size just think how you will look slim', Ermm ok! Then there are the 'you are starting to look gaunt, you don't look as good at this weight' brigade. Now if you look gaunt as my nice did when she lost a lot of weight through stress then I think people have a right to kindly say something because she had little weight left on her and was obviously suffering. However, I think most of us are realists and know when we are looking 'gaunt' not great lol. I personally have no desire to wear that look, I'm too vain lol. I'd rather have a fat bum and a cute face than a great bum and look haggard. That said, that is an individual choice and unless you are going above and beyond healthy eating and fasting and going to extremes to lose weight then I think these comments have to be, if you can manage it 'laughed off' with a 'really, cause I'm just loving looking and feeling like this so don't spoil it for me, and I can lend you the book'. Some people just plain don't like people around them losing weight when they are not. This leads to them trying to sabotage your efforts. Real friends don't feel jelous, they can feel envious and want to share your victories and even want to join you in weight loss and getting healthy but not jealous and feeling the need to belittle you and make you feel uncomfortable about your healthy life style.
As for the story of the two overweight ladies at lunch.... They obviously, and possibly you too before fasting enjoy having other overweight people to eat with. It 'feeds' itself, pardon the pun lol. If you eat with people who have a hearty appitite and over eat and you like to do that guilt free who better to share that with than overweight friends not yet in the mindset to lose weight and change. When one of you is no longer doing that it rocks the boat. Now they have to look at what they are doing and eating. Suddenly they feel on the defensive or maybe the offensive, if they can get you to over eat with them. So it becomes about them, not you. Let's face it the average fat person dreams of being slim! Controlling food, buying clothes in regular stores, borrowing their slim friends clothes etc. Not many of the psychological sound want to stay fat. But losing weight even fasting takes a huge amount of courage, stamina and patience with a good amount of faith in there. Faith in 'a way' to really lose weight which lets face it before fasting was the only thing thin on the ground in a fat girls life lol. I believe these women would love to lose weight BUT like us, until it has clicked in your head we all know how hard it is to face what we know will be another yo-yo diet. I personally thought I would be fat for life only 15 weeks ago. So let us rejoice inside around these people and try to be kind....
But this is what I said to a Nurse when I went to see her to my bloods taken....
So how have you lost your weight?
(beaming smile) I've fasted!
(Rolling eyes) .... She didn't get a word out.... Lol
ACTUALLY, I would prefer it if a women 20 years my junior didn't roll her eyes at me, how rude and unprofessional. I am 48, not 18 and an ex nurse myself. Do you actually know anything about fasting to lose weight (she managed a quick no as I stopped to breathe) . No I thought not, well maybe you should read up about it, my GP thinks it's great and urges me to continue on it, my bloods you're drawing right now is the proof of how great it it. Poor girl couldn't appologise quick enough. Still, she will never role her eyes at another patient again that tells her she is fasting lol.

Please don't be offended by my use of the word fat.... No one but me can call me fat lol. And as my friend tells me... We HAVE fat, we are NOT fat

Enjoyed reading the above @jayegirl and well done on reaching your 50lb weight loss! X

@jayegirl. What an incredible loss. Well done!

[Debs]

What an informative, entertaining and positive post, thank you for sharing!

Good for you @JayeGirl!

I loved reading your post @Jayegirl thank-you! I especially loved what you said to the eye rolling nurse. I don't think she'll roll her eyes at anyone ever again! Well at least not at work anyway
Xxx julianna

My closest friends and family are very supportive in whichever diet or way of eating I pick up.
And I learned one thing: I generally don't discuss my WOE with anyone else than my closest people and I have no interest in anyone else's opinion. They don't pay for my food and I'm competent adult, so they have no right to comment on my diet.

Something similar happened to me when my SIL asked me "well Wolfie, how much do you weight nowadays?" Could have floored her but took a deep breath and answered " let me put it like this - I weight 17kg less than I did before". And that shut her up.
Sadly I have gained some of these kg, but what truly galls me is when people say "why do you fast? Your are not fat". Maybe not fat but overweight and I have eyes to see with and I don't like what I see in the mirror with those extra kg on my body!