I am miffed.
This disaster has caused me to reflect on the 5:2 WOE, as it is called. I have refrained from saying much bad about 5:2 for some time now. But losing my trousers is the last straw. As this forum seems to allow negative comments about this 5:2 thing, I think it is time for me to vent. I am thinking about all of the negative posts I could have, and now feel I should have, made. So here are the posts I should have made, but did not. The numbers are accurate, and I thought of each and every comment along the way. I'm sorry in advance for the negative vibes, but I think people exploring 5:2 should know about these things before they go forward.
Day 1: Hello. Here I am. I've heard about this 5:2 thing and am interested. Nothing has worked for me yet, but given what I have heard I hope this is the answer! (Thinking - why am I doing this? It is just another fad diet.)
Week 1: Hi again. I think I did everything right, but I did not lose any weight at all! I'm wondering if this really works? But I've heard about this TDEE thing and I'll investigate. (Thinking - why am I doing this. It does not work.)
Week 2: I have been starving myself for two weeks and I have not lost one ounce!! I figured out the TDEE thing and have been doing it correctly. Why, oh why, am I not losing weight?! (Thinking - you idiot, why are you even here?)
Week 3: Wow, I lost two pounds. It is about time! (Thinking, probably just water weight.)
Week 4: Lost another pound (total of 3). God, this is slow. I read that maybe not weighing myself this often may be a good thing. I think I'll chuck the scales for awhile. (Thinking, this is really probably not worth it.)
Week 8: Hmmm. Lost 6 more pounds, total of 9 in 8 weeks. It is about time! But I am a male of above average height that weighs a lot and is active, with a reasonably high TDEE. I should be losing more weight - at least 2 pounds a week! What is wrong??? (Thinking, god this is slow, why am I putting myself through all of this?)
Week 9: (When the scales say good things, scales come back into favor.) 0 weight loss. What happened? What did I do wrong?? This is awful.
Week 10: (Hoping scales redeem themselves.) 0 weight loss. Clearly something wrong here. I'm doing everything right and not losing weight. But I have to lose weight, don't I? (Thinking, I think this might all be a sham. It has to be.)
Week 11: (On my knees praying before I get on the scales.) 0 weight loss. I am despondent and in despair. HELP!! What should I do. This clearly does not work! Should I do paleo? How about Atkins? Grapefruit? How about if I just stop eating altogether? 5:2 does not work, I have to do something!!!! (Thinking, What the hell am I saying. It is just another diet that does not work. Go look for something else that will work better.)
Week 12: Down 2 pounds, total of 11. I really, really should be losing faster. And I certainly should be going down in a consistently straight line (like jumping off a cliff with no wings). This 5:2 thing just does not deliver what I want and expect. And it takes so long. I'm not sure this is for me. (Thinking, god, this takes a long time. There must be a faster way.)
Week 13: Down 3 pounds, total 14. Lost my trousers today. I've had it!
All of you new people need to understand that if you do 5:2 right, all it will get you is frustratingly slow, inconsistent weight loss that will constantly cause you doubt and uneasy feelings.
And you may lose your trousers.