The FastDay Forum

[carieoates]

Bless you and your family Manderley.

God bless you Manderley. Sincere condolences to you and your family.

I'm sorry for your loss@Manderley, and hope that you are able to take some comfort from the fact that your father seems to have been blessed with a "good" death, if there ever is such a thing. I hope that you are able to receive the support which you need at this sad time.

I think that your reading is beautiful and I hope that you are able to take it to heart. Please take care of yourself.

With kind regards,

Bracken

So sorry to hear of your father's sad passing.

That is a beautiful poem, and as others have said, your father was so lucky to have you there by his side and to know you right up until the end. My parents died demented and didn't know their children for quite a while before they passed. So your father was blessed to meet his end peacefully, without pain, and surrounded with love. None of us can ask for more.

Do take the advice to avoid making any major changes until you have had a chance to grieve and adjust emotionally. We are all wishing you nothing but the best.

Thinking of you so very much. Whatever way you cope with it is right. I've had ones where I've screamed & cried & didn't know if I could cope, and others where it hurt so deeply that I just coped without apparently struggling.

It is what it is, just go with the flow in whatever way is right for you & your Dad and you will come out the other side.

Dear @Manderley, thinking of you at this very sad time. <<hugs>> Holding your dad at his peaceful passing is something that you will always have as a special memory. Despite your fears, you seem to have coped so well at a difficult time. Take heart from this, and know that you will also cope with sorting things out in the future. Just take things as they come, don't rush decisions if you do not need to.

The poem is beautiful. Sending you strength for the funeral.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, but was very moved by your description of what happened.
Thinking of you.

I add my voice to the chorus of condolences. A lovely death, really. You will treasure that memory. When my mum died she looked at me like that, before she slipped into a coma, and I have held that look in my heart since then. All will be well. Just take it as it comes and let the sadness bubble up when it does. Love to you.

I am so sorry, and sad@Manderley. The poem is lovely, your description of your father's death is very moving and I'm so glad you were right there, close. You will get washes of grief coming over you for a long time, years, but it's normal and right to experience and embrace them. You have also have wonderful memories. Love to you

Sending my love, hugs and condolences too, dear Manderley.
I know it's absolutely no consolation to you, but it's what all parents wish, that they die before their children. It's the natural way of things. Right now, your grief will override everything else, but in time, you will think of your parents with great love and your pain will ease. Stay strong. You will need all your strength in the coming weeks x


“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it
seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that
you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:
a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that
regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're
gone from your life. I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as
making a life. I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both
hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I've learned that whenever
I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've
learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that
every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or
just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you
did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”


Maya Angelou (American Poet, b.1928)

I also chose this poem for my Mum's funeral and I took great comfort from those words. Look after yourself

Thinking of you @Manderley and hoping you are recovering a little x

I am back after a day of "kind of rest" yesterday and I am feeling very confused.

The day was really wonderful, sunny and warm. I was the only one to see my dad before they closed the casket. Well, not exactly, there was somebody who came and comforted me, rubbing my back and putting his hand around my waist but I didn't see who it was, I was so numb with the pain that my forehead was touching my dad so I didn't see anybody coming or who was next to me. I think it was my godfather (who is my dad's half brother and was there monday when he passed away) but I am not sure and we didn't talk about it after that.

Someone took a picture of the casket with our national flag covering it. I was so proud....

I just hope that I will be able to stay in touch with his half brother who I really really love. I will wait a few days before trying to ring him or asking for his email address. I don't know how to deal with that, I just hope to be able to keep in touch with him. We lost touch for years, I didn't see him since 2003 because of my mother (long and painful story) so that's why I am a bit nervous about that. It would break my heart if I lost him as well after last week. If you have any advice to show him I am here without making too much of it, I am all ears.....

Here's a picture of my dad and me

@Manderley, thank you for sharing that special photo! I hope it conjures lots of happy memories for you.

I am a bit wary about giving advice, but I would hope that your godfather would be really happy that you want to stay in touch. Maybe ring him as soon as you feel able and say what you wrote in your post - that you love him, that you are sorry that you lost touch, and that you really want to keep in touch now.

Best wishes and still thinking of you <<hugs>>

Thank you all for your wonderful and amazing support these past weeks, I don't know how I would have deal with things. You were all there when I felt alone and overwhelmed and panicked. Really really thank you from the bottom of my heart



I have to deal with the other person who was there for me and my dad when I felt so alone and I really don't know how. I need to talk to him but I don't dare to call him. I don't want to intrude. There are a lot of things I need to say to him but how ?

Also I have decided to break things up with OH. I realized I was with him for the wrong reasons and I may have chosen him because of somebody else. And I can't stand him these days. Every thing he says or does irritates me, I find him insensitive (after all I am not the first one to lose her dad and should get over it) wants us to see each other tomorrow night as if nothing happened and well, I don't know what I am doing with him anymore.

I feel cold, way too quiet, I only broke down in tears just before they closed the casket and nothing since, that's not normal.

And last but not least, I am still losing weight. I don't fast just can't eat more than twice a day and don't know how I will deal with that. For now I am taking one day at a time as I said in another post.