The FastDay Forum

Cilla. Sorry to hear you are frustrated. I'm with you in spirit. Not been able to get into a routine since I moved. Put it down to the weather. (although I don't have that excuse)

Really fed up today so don't read if you don't want to have your day spoiled by my rantings!
Scales read 82.9 kg this morning and compounded with it being crappy hateful Valentines Day I am miserable and close to tears.
I don't really understand why this is happening. It may be hormone related. In any case my clothes are no tighter, I don't feel 4 kgs heavier and after all they are only numbers so THEY DON'T MATTER.
Only to me they do! I feel like a big fat failure! Six months of loving watching the scales read less and less of me and reveling in my success.
I don't want to give up and I am not going to. Just really unhappy about this.
I wonder if it does have something to do with taking probiotics or am I clutching at straws here? I started taking them almost a week ago after reading up on what I could do to improve my mental state and digestion after years and years of IBS and stress related ill health. I don't want to go back onto anti depressants but getting the miseries all the time is wearing me out.
Sorry for venting xxx

Down 0.9kg this morning. That's a good start! I am contemplating not weighing myself for a week. Don't know if I can do that lol. Cold turkey on the scales aaargghhh!!!! x

Good strategy Cilla - as it will take the pressure off you. Great re the almost 1kg. I bet you will have lost more by the time you weigh yourself again.

Had to update my tracker today to celebrate being back at 80.3kgs! Not that I feel very happy.....been on a downward spiral for over a week. Interesting how weight gain really kick started this latest episode of 'you're a piece of shit'-ness.
Looks like going back to 5:2, which actually I only did for the first week lol, has paid off. Perhaps all this time of 4:2 has made my body think it's starving and I started to gain weight despite sticking to calorie allowances.
Can't say it has improved my mood much. When I 'get like this' all the joy leaches out of my life. I stopped weighing myself so often, stopped coming on this forum and ate a little bit too much chocolate i.e. four squares instead of two...what a rebel!. Then had one evening of drinking myself into a stupor and regretting it A LOT the next day.
Or that's all a load of crap and getting into making my own bread might have something to do with it! I doubt it somehow, given I haven't eaten more bread than I usually do lol. But I might be in denial...
Sadly my youngest son seems to have inherited my misery gene and after a very tearful phone call on Sunday, while I tried to find a decent signal in Waterstones (failed) he went to the Drs and has been prescribed Prozac. As if being born with a disability and being in a wheelchair isn't enough for one person to deal with, he gets my depressive nature too. Sigh. Being human sucks sometimes.
Underneath the fog of this latest bout of down I am pleased at my weight loss. One less thing to beat myself up about eh? x

2kg is a great loss in a couple of weeks Cilla - especially when you are feeling so down, and also concerned about your son. Keep going whatever you do, and don't be a stranger on here either - we want to know how things are going for you, so do keep posting

I am out of the red and into the orange!!! My BMI today is 29.36! That was a surprise. Down to 78.9kgs today which is absolutely fab. Not leaping up and down, still too much of a misery guts at the moment but I am so relieved and it is one less thing to worry about.
My son is feeling a bit better already which is really good too.
Just wish the weather would improve and we got more than one day without rain!
cilla xxx

Well done on going orange @drilakila That's absolutely brilliant news hope your son is on the mend if only slightly that's a help, great news on returning to 5:2 seems to have kickstarted your weightloss again I'm doing similar because I didn't feel well enough to do my third fast this week plus I'm getting absolutely nowhere even with 4:3 so back to basics and 5:2 for one month because I'm running out of ideas but your update has I inspired me with hope thanks for that. Sue

thank you sue.q. That really lifts me up. How good that I can inspire you. Feels like someone just threw me a lifeline xxx

@drilakila - congratulations on getting into the next BMI band. It does give you a boost when you reach a milestone doesn't it?

I missed your post on your son's health problems. Just wanted to send you a big hug as I can understand a little of how you are feeling. My daughter is bipolar and I found it so hard when she relapsed while away at university as I wasn't there to help her, not that there is much you can do really except be supportive.

Good luck with the rest of your journey.

Great news Cilla - hope this gives you that much needed boost - and now the days are getting lighter , hope this too contributes to lifting your mood.

Put on a teeny bit this week but I am ok with it. I am happy as long as I stay below 80kg for the time being.
I think the novelty of this WOE has definitely worn off and I have found I am having to re think the why's and wherefores and go back to the reasons why I started this. Just to remind myself why I need to keep going. Ahh the joys of depression when I get an attack of the 'I can't be arsed-itis'. I was half listening to my inner voice last night at the end of a fast day as I got ready to go to bed. I was a bit hungry and the bag of marshmallows sitting on the kitchen table shouted 'eat me eat me!'. I checked the info on the packet and decided I could have a few, lamenting that I have to do this for the rest of my life! Shock. Horror. I thought, no I don't HAVE to. I WANT to. It's my choice and weighed up how good physically I feel compared to how shitty I felt 6 months ago. Because of my low self esteem and poor body image at the moment although I feel fat, old and ugly there are a few positive things to celebrate..size 12 jeans that are comfortable, noticing the other day lying down I could see all of me down to my toes, not just a big mound of belly with toes peeping out at the end lol. I have been getting a lot of joy recently buying a few clothes in mens size medium. Medium! Not xl or l!!! Total joy. I am so sick of wearing baggy clothes!
The lovely dresses I made last autumn are all loose and really comfortable to wear and if they get too baggy I can take them in!
I realised the other day that getting on and off my horse is getting easier and I am describing it as 'popping on or off' in my notes ( I document my time with her as part of my studying). That might also be a respite from my fibromyalgia pain of course but not entirely.
Anyway, what started as a post to log my progress seems to have turned into a positive affirmation. Not so bad! x

Great to hear you sounding so positive Cilla! Keep up the good work as you are doing really well!