The FastDay Forum

I've had several compliments from people over the last couple of weeks saying how well I'm looking, followed by don't lose any more weight. But the thing is I lost all my weight (just short of 2 stones) between Jan and July last year, since when I've been maintaining!

Well done on two stone down but isnt that strange@AnnieW that it's taken all this time for the compliments to start flooding in?
Ive just been complimenting self and congratulating selfwhile cleaning teeth coz two things today..one, i crossed my legs sitting down - and i could do it..usually i have to heave one leg up over other thigh..well in fact usually i just don't do it,but it was quite effortless and i felt almost gamine like Audrey Hepburn ( til caught sight if self and No, i was still dumpy)
And two, i have a jacket that has two slits at the hem..with press studs.. I always leave the oress studs open to allow extra bum and hip space but today i fastened them and the jacket still felt roomy! X

hi @Sassy1 - family! my goodness, how do they get away with it? It may be jealousy, but I also think sometimes it's because they perceive us "rocking the boat" by changing the status quo along with our size - and who know what will happen in a family after that? Next thing they know, you'll be calling them on their rudeness, or something!

As I wrote in another string, I do think compliments are a bit of a double-edged sword, particularly if you don't have a completely easy relationship with the complimenter. I actually prefer to have my own compliments coming from within, then they don't come along with someone else's agenda around food & size etc, which I can frankly do without. Anyway I'm not doing this for other people or to get their compliments, I'm doing it for myself, my own health & vitality. Having said that, I'm at the magic 2 stone (for imperial dinosaurs!) mark now, so I'm imagining I might be getting some comments shortly - I have found that a simple,"thank you very much" - end of sentence, no matter what the comment or question was, usually does the job, unless someone is particularly rude & persistent, then sterner measures may be required. I have actually, when I lost 25 kg around my diabetes diagnosis, had people literally corner me and demand to know what I was doing to lose weight - this time around I won't be so polite in dealing with them!

For me, it's actually a big thing, and a biggish part of the reason I've resisted losing weight since 11 years ago - I have trouble drawing the boundary. With somewhat twisted logic, that was some of the reason I got fat (sorry to speak plainly) in the first place - I imagined my size drew the boundary for me. Thank goodness, after a lot of work on myself, I am actually better at drawing my own boundaries now!

I've only had 6 people notice, 5 of which were family members. So I guess it's because I didn't lose 2 stone. Also, I think people figure that if they say I'm looking thin, the implication is that I used to be fat.

My son complimented me the other day by texting that I'm a really good writer. Does that count? I was quite pleased.

If imitation is the highest form of flattery, I'm doing quite well these days. So many people are asking about the diet. I don't feel right sending them here (I like keeping my real world and virtual world separate), so I send them to MMs site, or loan them the book.

Er, I didn't think Id be back here quite so soon but yesterday I didn't have one I had TWO compliments! They both liked my boots, it was the colour mainly! One day they'll say how slim my legs look inside the boots but until then...hey ho!

Bean

Well done on the leg crossing front @CandiceMarie another sure sign you are "disappearing".

Probably your legs enhancing the boots @nursebean.
What colour are they?
I love boots.

A few years ago someone told me that my hair looked lovely............ from the back! I made a mental note to never bother with a face lift.

Ballerina x

Last night a woman thought I was 6 years younger than I am we were in the pub though, and it was quite late does that still count.

Chris x

This compliment made me laugh as someone told me that I am looking like a "proper woman" with hips and boobs and he told me with the proper look I could be as glamorous as Dita Von Teese which is a huge compliment for me as she's the quintessential of glamor and sexy for me

It's good to know that it takes about 15 kgs for people to notice. I've noticed tiny changes but of course they're too small for anyone else. so it's good to know that I have to wait a while, but they'll be coming. keep up the great work everyone! You all inspire me daily...sometimes minute-ly, but never minutely
I agree with jools7 on the boundary question & that we must be our own best internal cheerleader. Also agree with Mary Ann that I'm reluctant to share the forum - when the time comes, perhaps I'll feel differently.

@jools7 i agree that family and close ones can be nervous of change..maybe they think we' ll no longer be that person they know and love..and yeah deffo we need the self esteem to be our own cheer-er on- ers..is there such a word ...but i rely on my daughter to tell me when and where good changes are happening..
And yeh@wendyjane i agree..whenever i say to someone they are looking thin, i feel i have to add,Not that you used to look fat!
In fact,there is an element of me that crimples up inside when i get told i look slimmer..i invariably think back to when i was literally stones lighter and i think,this is what ive come to! I am still very fat but peeps are telling me i look slimmer ( compared to how even more fat i used to look!) If that makes any sense..* goes off muttering,totally lost my train of thought,need a biscuit now*

Oh@CandiceMarie, how complicated! It's so discombobulating isn't it? I do sympathize !! Don't worry about the biscuit, just try to love all of your present and past selves, if you can! Barbara Hannah, who was a psychotherapist & collaborator of CG Jung, says that one (the only?) prerequisite for change is that we love what currently is. Then we can let go of it, but also keep it or honour it on some level as well, while not having to be a slave to it ongoingly. Good luck, thank you so much for sharing your vulnerabilities with us, that is the measure of true strength!

No less than THREE people told me i looked slimmer tonight
One hadnt seen me since November and said the difference was very noticeable since then
Another person said my waist looked smaller
The third person said my tum is now a lot flatter
All these little things really encourage me to keep going! x
PS i hope this doesnt just mean all three of them need to go to Specsavers!

not quite in the spirit of the tent but have to share~: a few years ago a woman who is not renowned for tact said to me "I heard you'd lost a lot of weight" (I had got down to just over 10 st from being over 12 I think at some point) "but you obviously put it back on again" (was about 15st at the time). For once I was speechless!

What a rude person!
It never fails to amaze me how so many people feel they can say what they like about weight tho they wdnt dream of saying,for instance,you have a big nose x