The FastDay Forum

[Tracieknits]

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your boyfriend are able to help each other get through your respective losses. How horrible!!

Thank you all for your kind words.

Dear@cblasz,

I've only just seen your posts and wanted to express my condolences. I hope that you and your boyfriend are able to do the grieving which you both need, whilst also giving some support to each other. Perhaps it is also important to have others on whom you are able to depend, so as to not put too much pressure on your relationship; it is difficult to handle another's grief when one is also grieving.

Please take care and do the things which are right for you at present

What a terrible, painful loss. I am so sorry you have to suffer like this.

From my own experience with trauma intense enough to take 30 lbs off me without dieting I'd say, don't let anyone tell you to move on from your grief. Doing that just suppresses it and it will always be there, below the surface, influencing you in ways you may not realize. There will always be people who want you to give up grief because it scares them and makes them realize how precarious all our happiness really is. But healing from grief requires a lot of letting it be there, learning to live with it, and giving yourself as much support as possible.

Spend as much time with people you know who are loving and giving. Give yourself the love you need, too, with tenderness and forgiveness. I first learned to be alone when I wasn't able to find people who could live with what I was feeling. Eventually that ability to be alone became a great gift.

And don't make any major changes to your life for a year or more, if you can possibly avoid it

I'm so sorry for your loss cb xxx

[carorees]

So sorry to hear this. I agree with peebles... I think it takes years to get over a bereavement. You can get back to normal life in that you do normal things but you won't feel the same. Talking about it really really helps, so feel free to vent here and find people in real life who will listen without feeling awkward.

Good luck

Oh, how heartbreaking. I agree with Peebles and Carorees. Take things at your own pace, in your own way. Grief is such a personal thing. For what it's worth, exercise really helped me. Not trying to push it if its not your thing, but for me it was a way to use some of the excess energy that anger about the unfairness of it all can bring. Take care.

Thank you all for your responses and helpful advice. I am lucky to have a lot of support. I am trying to get back to normal things, but I know it's going to be a long time before the pain goes away. I am definitely not too dependent on the guy I'm seeing. I have a bad feeling it isn't going to last long, but we will see. I am used to being on my own. I've lived alone for 16 years, so I will be ok, no matter what. I'm trying to get back into my normal routine. I have a TON of work to do for both my jobs, so that will certainly keep me busy.
I think I'm going to fast on Wednesday this week and then maybe start 2 days a week next week.

Just catching up with this news, @cblasz.Sending love.