The FastDay Forum

[quote="wildmissus

On a lighter note, and I do mean lighter, fasting is going well and my clothes feel a lot loser. I started having a sort out of my clothes and am quite shocked at how little fits me now and how many size 16's I had in my wardrobe![/quote]
@wildmissus that's brilliant
Hope you' ll treat yourself to some lovely new things
What a morale boost to look and feel lighter andto be in smaller size clothes! X

@wildmissus That's absolutely awful, he seems to be a total pratt!! From what I can see you've done amazingly well to have stuck with that marriage as long as you have.
Yes you can always rely on everyone on this forum whenever you need to "talk" members in other countries are always on hand, but hopefully you won't be spending to much time in the Insomniacs tent because he's not worth losing sleep over.
He does seem to be building some sort of case against you but as you're one step ahead of him he won't gather anything to hold against you regarding your daughters who have a mind of there own and will have seen/heard stuff going on around them, as I said before kids are very resilient and probably have loads of friends in a similar situation.
Surround yourself with genuine friends and family to ensure you have someone to talk to face to face, it doesn't seem likely that you'll need to go clothes shopping for the foreseeable future with getting to the lower sizes at the back of your wardrobe's. Lol
Well done with the fasting and healthy eating and maybe blown away your 7 month plateau so when you've moved out of this tent leaving me all alone do pop back for coffee sometimes to keep me company
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣

[wildmissus]

Thanks everyone. We own our house and are mortgage free and as he paid the mortgage he is not going to leave the house!!! Yes I know that's not how it works. He is sleeping on the couch which is at least something. The biggest problem I have at the moment is the bitchy comments he makes all the time. I try my best to ignore them which annoys him so he will eventually come out with a 'biggie' which I can't help but retaliate to. I need to make more of an effort to ignore him and walk away. I think at the moment he has so much anger in him because I have rejected him. The emails to my brother in law seem to infer that how could I possibly consider leaving such a wonderful man as he has never done anything wrong. He said he had been speaking with my friends but he wouldn't name who, and that they are 'concerned about my behaviour'. It turns out that is a pile of poo. My friends haven't seen him in a while and a while ago some of them had expressed their concern to him about my health problems! Isn't that what friends do?

On the weight side of things on my way home from work yesterday I bought myself a new pair of straight leg jeans and a top which I'll be wearing to Edinburgh. They were both size 12's. When I tried them on I looked in the mirror and was quite surprised and thought - 'look at me, I look all right'. Well chuffed.

Well done with the new size jeans and top - you deserve it!

I am sorry to hear about all the nasty snipes, but you seem to be remaining strong. I am thinking of you @wildmissus - take care my sweet.

He might find the couch too unbearable and perhaps leave you in peace?

cheers
Maggie

[Debs]

On the clothing front, that is great news. I hope you are all going to have a big group hug as you deserve it.
I hope you are writing everything down that is going on around you. Everything he says and does as it will help you down the line. It is hard not to rise when people bait you. I guess the lawyers will sort the mortgage/house stuff out, it sin' just about paying money out is it, it's the whole contribution thing from both of you? I hope your kids aren't struggling too much with this.

Big hugs.

@wildmissus You sound as if you're getting stronger mentally to me which is very good, soon you will be able to walk away when he throws in a biggie and he'll keep doing that because he knows it goads you, go into another
room/upstairs whatever because he'll hate being ignored.
He is digging himself a very big hole messing with family and friends, let's hope he drops into it, as Debs + others have said make a list of all the events + dates + goading diggs of each one however trivial they seem at the time.

Well done on cheering yourself up with the new outfit and size12s!!!! bet you looked great and yes obobviously felt great, you'll look + feel amazing next week meeting up with all your "buddies" feel very proud of yourself J because you've done a great job with the weightloss considering all the baggage you've carried around with you.
Take very good care of yourself first and give the girls a big hug from all of us
enjoy your weekend of peace before returning to the "mad house" even stronger and full of more ammunition.♣

(((((((Hugs))))) to you wildmissus hope you are feeling ok, amazing results for all of your persistence through such a long plateau. You have been so determined. As to what is transpiring in your personal life sorry to hear the stress you are under, it is sad when you can't remain together and difficult to bear such acrimony.

Be strong and take good care of you and your girls. Hope you have lots of support from those very close to you, it's will be needed long haul

Looking forward to seeing you and your sis on Saturday @wildmissus

ADVICE PLEASE!
@wildmissus with you talking bout yr splitting up /the house etc..do you or anyone have any advice for a friend..is marrying soon and about to buy house with future hub.however,he is the one applying for a mortgage as my friend has no income..was made redundant a few yrs back and has only had temporary low paid jobs since.
he's told her she won't be on the deeds of the property as has no money to put into it right now,and as they want kids quite quickly,she will prob be a stay at home mum and then at very most,work p/time as child( ren) grow up.
Call me oldfashioned but i thought folk married to share everything,and making a home took more than just providing the money for the mortgage every month? Or am i wrong and this is a fair way of dealing with their situation?..she's thinking of calling the whole thing off as he insists that if they split in years to come, she shdnt be entitled to half the house as she didnt pay half the mortgage
I wd tell him to sling his hook but she loves him,so its not that easy but she does feel very hurt and quite confused by it all as wasnt expecting it!

It's not what he thinks, it's what any divorce court would think! If she is that worried tell her to go to the CAB, they will let her know what her rights are. But if she is that unsure, she shouldn,t be marrying him, let alone contemplating living in a house with him and having his children.

Edited to add:
http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/legal.p ... ge_divorce

In Australia at least, marriage automatically makes the split 50/50, especially if kids are involved. Unless there's a prenuptial agreement, which is dodgy in legal terms anyway. If she is responsible for "making the home" and looking after the kids, she is entitled to half, even without any monetary input by her. She needs to see a lawyer! And a relationship counsellor - I wouldn't be advising going full steam ahead with the marriage, that's for sure. She might love him, but it doesn't sound like he loves her very much!

[wildmissus]

@CandiceMarie, Scottish law is a bit different from English law but I'm pretty sure the principles are the same -

what you have before you are married remains yours, so if one person puts down £50k deposit on their first house then that comes off any divorce settlement.

it makes no difference who pays for what, who works, who earns what or whose name is on the house/mortgage.

if you are living together as partners then as I understand it after 2 years in the house you both get half regardless of whose name is on the house/mortgage.

All assets are halved (children or no children), so even if you have lots of children you are not entitled to any more than 50%. Assets = house, pensions, personal belongings minus mortgage and personal debts up until date of official separation.

Couldn't agree more with @Silverdarling, the CAB are brilliant. Just straight down the line factual information and it is free. Both my husband and I have used them. Funny though, my husband still can't get them to say he is due more because he paid more into the house .
I have to say it sounds like your friend is marrying a man like my husband, very controlling.

Hello all - thought I'd pop in.
Wildmissus - just checked out your progress chart when I noticed your BMI - how fab is that?! Well done you , and do you have a secret of how to make the line zoom down like that?!

Oh, different in Australia then, here any property you have prior to marriage (or 2 years' defacto) becomes part of the marital assets, including superannuation, inheritances, everything. Interesting to speculate how these differences occur, I guess there might be less hereditary wealth here - sorry to be a bit culturally insensitive.

[wildmissus]

@jools7, that is defo the case in Scottish law but that is where English and Australian law might be the same. OH started work when he was 17 and we started living together when he was 29 so we have to get the value of his pension when he was 29 until now or should I say that is what he has to do when he decides to do it . I have a nagging feeling when I was reading up about pensions that in England that it is the value of the pension now regardless of when it started/when you married, not sure about other assets.