Hello everyone!
Many thanks for your kind birthday wishes - much appreciated! I do hope your daughter had a lovely birthday, Shelley @johns. No doubt you enjoyed your Nanna duties too!
I had a super day....because I'd made up my mind I would...no matter what. I've had issues with low self esteem all my life and all I've ever wanted was to matter to people - family, husband, friends. I suppose you could say I just want to be validated. Without boring you with the details, over the years, I've been very disappointed on my birthday that on what I see as my "special" day, others close to me...don't. I'm looking for a little effort from the other half - signs that he's given some thought to a present - you'll know what I mean. So, I get up yesterday...no one's put any banners or balloons up like I do for everyone else when it's their birthdays. Start to make myself a cuppa...then my 13 year old steps in & offers to make it....things are looking up! There's no presents on the table...hmmm....wonder where they are?! Or could it be that there's nothing? No sign of a birthday cooked breakfast going on....like I do for everyone when it's their birthdays. Oh. My mum comes round & is excited to see me open my presents. Well, that won't take long then! She is very kindly giving me some holiday money for my birthday...for when we go to a family wedding in Mauritius in November. She had also wrapped up some joke presents for me, which were great fun. Then I start opening my cards...& find that inside his card to me, my husband has pasted a picture of a fridge-freezer & the words "Start looking for a birthday fridge freezer from me" plus the promise of some hazelnut (what else?!) torrone at Christmas.....
Words rather failed me at that point. Our fridge freezer is on its last legs and will need replacing it's true.....but to call it my birthday present????????? Weeks ago, I had been in Lakeland with my youngest....and showed her a posh rolling pin - " just in case you & dad are stuck for ideas for my birthday". Neither of them had even bothered to enquire what I would like this year. When I opened her card it contained the promise of a rolling pin...."when we can get to Lakeland...as we haven't had time to get there". Yes, folks, I am the only person on this earth whose birthday is never on the same date each year - it moves around all the time and you never know when it is.....until it's too late and you've missed it.....NOT. If I'm sounding rather bitter at this point, it's probably because I am. Especially since my husband has been between contracts & therefore out of work for the past 8 weeks or so.....& therefore has had plenty of time to get to Lakeland with our daughter to buy a measly rolling pin!!! Am I right.....or am I just stupidly deluded???
Moving on, I have to say I ended up having a very nice day...because I had planned what I wanted to do as I knew there'd be nothing else on offer! Went to a flower show with my mum & some friends in the next village, then on to our local pub at teatime - who were doing cream teas in aid of a charity bike ride a group of them are doing in September. Had a scone with cream (just the one....and my first morsel of the day) & then raced home ready for the annual birthday BBQ bash my friend hosts every year in her BBQ hut for a number of us with August birthdays. My best friend made me the most amazing chocolate hazelnut cake.....smothered in Maltesers that were tumbling out of the packet....a fabulous sight! And totally scrumptious....though my stomach has clearly shrunk over the months as I couldn't finish my piece last night! Lost count of how many Pimms I sank...& have woken up this morning remarkably unscathed...considering! No doubt my indulgences will be suitably reflected on the scales....but hey....this is only the second time since May that I have indulged so much on one day. Interestingly, I did not enjoy the feeling of being stuffed one little bit...but by the time I felt it, it was too late...other than to tell myself that normal service will be resumed on Monday! Fancy looking forward to fasting.....who'd have ever believed it??? Not me, that's for sure!
Why not today? Well, because I am blimmin' well having my cooked breakfast....and then there's the matter of the rest of the cake to deal with!!! I make no apologies, for I am in such a good place at the moment thanks to my BSD regime that I feel 2 days of "slack" will not be the end of the world. After all, it's all about balance, isn't it? We've got to live a little too!
Hoping you're all having a great weekend! Thank you for listening & sorry, but I really needed to sound off as I am feeling a bit hurt right now....xxx
Many thanks for your kind birthday wishes - much appreciated! I do hope your daughter had a lovely birthday, Shelley @johns. No doubt you enjoyed your Nanna duties too!
I had a super day....because I'd made up my mind I would...no matter what. I've had issues with low self esteem all my life and all I've ever wanted was to matter to people - family, husband, friends. I suppose you could say I just want to be validated. Without boring you with the details, over the years, I've been very disappointed on my birthday that on what I see as my "special" day, others close to me...don't. I'm looking for a little effort from the other half - signs that he's given some thought to a present - you'll know what I mean. So, I get up yesterday...no one's put any banners or balloons up like I do for everyone else when it's their birthdays. Start to make myself a cuppa...then my 13 year old steps in & offers to make it....things are looking up! There's no presents on the table...hmmm....wonder where they are?! Or could it be that there's nothing? No sign of a birthday cooked breakfast going on....like I do for everyone when it's their birthdays. Oh. My mum comes round & is excited to see me open my presents. Well, that won't take long then! She is very kindly giving me some holiday money for my birthday...for when we go to a family wedding in Mauritius in November. She had also wrapped up some joke presents for me, which were great fun. Then I start opening my cards...& find that inside his card to me, my husband has pasted a picture of a fridge-freezer & the words "Start looking for a birthday fridge freezer from me" plus the promise of some hazelnut (what else?!) torrone at Christmas.....
Words rather failed me at that point. Our fridge freezer is on its last legs and will need replacing it's true.....but to call it my birthday present????????? Weeks ago, I had been in Lakeland with my youngest....and showed her a posh rolling pin - " just in case you & dad are stuck for ideas for my birthday". Neither of them had even bothered to enquire what I would like this year. When I opened her card it contained the promise of a rolling pin...."when we can get to Lakeland...as we haven't had time to get there". Yes, folks, I am the only person on this earth whose birthday is never on the same date each year - it moves around all the time and you never know when it is.....until it's too late and you've missed it.....NOT. If I'm sounding rather bitter at this point, it's probably because I am. Especially since my husband has been between contracts & therefore out of work for the past 8 weeks or so.....& therefore has had plenty of time to get to Lakeland with our daughter to buy a measly rolling pin!!! Am I right.....or am I just stupidly deluded???
Moving on, I have to say I ended up having a very nice day...because I had planned what I wanted to do as I knew there'd be nothing else on offer! Went to a flower show with my mum & some friends in the next village, then on to our local pub at teatime - who were doing cream teas in aid of a charity bike ride a group of them are doing in September. Had a scone with cream (just the one....and my first morsel of the day) & then raced home ready for the annual birthday BBQ bash my friend hosts every year in her BBQ hut for a number of us with August birthdays. My best friend made me the most amazing chocolate hazelnut cake.....smothered in Maltesers that were tumbling out of the packet....a fabulous sight! And totally scrumptious....though my stomach has clearly shrunk over the months as I couldn't finish my piece last night! Lost count of how many Pimms I sank...& have woken up this morning remarkably unscathed...considering! No doubt my indulgences will be suitably reflected on the scales....but hey....this is only the second time since May that I have indulged so much on one day. Interestingly, I did not enjoy the feeling of being stuffed one little bit...but by the time I felt it, it was too late...other than to tell myself that normal service will be resumed on Monday! Fancy looking forward to fasting.....who'd have ever believed it??? Not me, that's for sure!
Why not today? Well, because I am blimmin' well having my cooked breakfast....and then there's the matter of the rest of the cake to deal with!!! I make no apologies, for I am in such a good place at the moment thanks to my BSD regime that I feel 2 days of "slack" will not be the end of the world. After all, it's all about balance, isn't it? We've got to live a little too!
Hoping you're all having a great weekend! Thank you for listening & sorry, but I really needed to sound off as I am feeling a bit hurt right now....xxx
Started BSD 09/05/16 @ 213.5lbs BMI 32.9
Lost 43.3lbs as @ 10/10/16 - got down to 170.2lbs. Fell off wagon (again) but jumped back on 09/01/17...weighing in at 187.2lbs....oh dear
16/01 180.6lbs
Lost 43.3lbs as @ 10/10/16 - got down to 170.2lbs. Fell off wagon (again) but jumped back on 09/01/17...weighing in at 187.2lbs....oh dear
16/01 180.6lbs
it really peeves me off & I have to bite my tongue. our darling grand-daughter lily is 9 weeks old now & mother-in-law has seen her once & one of his sisters still hasnt been round to see her. anyway, thats my moan over with too 
didnt even get a card from him. 
I can't write it all again but basically I was saying that I think its very uncommon for a man to be super thoughtful with birthdays. They are just wired differently - crazy dudes! 
)
