The FastDay Forum

Oh sorry to hear you haven't slept Candy. Theres nothing worse than tossing and turning and not being able to sleep. Miserable.

Am currently watching "The Killing". Has anyone else watched this? Only, is it me or is Season 2 the same story as Season 1? Surely my ME brain hasn't completely deserted me has it?

Sorry beany i can't answer yr question but will see if DD or Beau watched it and if they know x

In answer to yr question @nursebean is series 2 same story as series 1..
DD says,"only in the sense they are looking for another murderer, I think! in terms of who the killer is, it's someone in the series again, so if she's thinking is it the same in the sense you could guess who it was from the start again? otherwise it's pretty different! I haven't seen series 3 yet so no spoilers!! x"
Hope that helps..
Beau,as men do,simply says,"No it's a totally different story "!
No idea if any of that helps coz never watched it!
XX

Hello, my fast friends, good to "see" you! Life has just run me over of late and I haven't been up to posting. Candy, I'm sorry you had one of those nights and couldn't have your day out. Like you, I try to get everything ready the day before, but my best time is morning. By evening I really can't stand long enough to do much.
Beany, glad you are enjoying your business , even if it is wearing you out. Just be sure to take care of yourself as much as possible.
We are doing ok. Probably about to need a new doctor, as mine wants me to take cholesterol lowering medication, and I'm not going to do it. I don't feel, for me, the benefits outweigh the risks. Doctors don't like patients who think, they just want you to take the pills.
I had to reschedule my rheumatologist visit, with another doctor. The one they sent me to is in a town I don't know, and on an early trip up to find the place, I discovered I couldn't handle the traffic. Trying to drive I an unfamiliar area, with poorly marked streets and a lot of folks practicing to be racing drivers, was just TOO much. :-0

We have resumed fasting after a couple of weeks and my weight is going down again, that makes me quite happy. Well, now that I've given you a years worth of news at once, I'm off to make a cuppa, with milk and sugar(just a little) Bean, I always have milk and sugar in my coffee,and I've lost about 29lbs. It's ok if you can't stomach black coffee.
Love you my fast friends. Phyllis

Phyl@MountainMyst if i was told i needed statins, i would say no too
Wish they could find us some meds to help with our cFS probs
Well you didnt take a very long break from fasting!well done on weight going down again!
Got my DD & SIL living back here now! SIL has started his new job,so i can now allow myself to believe,yes its real,yes they are back for good,and will be moving into new home over next few weeks,yippee
Ooh horrid experience driving in unfamiliar town with mad traffic :0(
Hope you dont have to wait long for new appt

Better scoot,laundry ready to go into dryer x x !
Marshmallow hugs to you & the family xx and to Beany xx

Hi Candy, we started fasting again but somewhat modified. Probably only staying in the 700 or so calories, so Deidre and do the electrolyte drink. I have changed for 16/8 to eating a little every couple of hours. I have developed ulcer symptoms, and am needing to eat more frequently. I think I have taken too many anti inflammatory meds on an empty stomach have ditched my morning coffee for a cuppa, and find I really like it.
After much research, I decided that statins aren't for me. At least right now. My cholesterol is high, partly familial. I have also read that fasting will temporarily raise cholesterol my LDL is high, but my HDL is over 70, and VLDL, and triglycerides are normal. So, I'm being a "bad" patient. Doctors,at least some of them, don't want patients who think, read, and question them.
So glad you have your daughter back close and things are working out well for them. That is really exciting. Enjoy your time with them. Sending a hug and wishes for a great week. Phyllis

Hi Phyl@mountainmyst and Beany @nursebean..how you doing? May i introduce @elc80 ..also known as my DD and sadly another CFSer
Had for me a lively weekend...couple hours at the seaside friday,brekky out and an hour at a street market sat'day,and a film and a short visit to a cider festival sunday.
Hardly raucous but fun and made a change..but feeling fairly grotty today after it all...Worth it tho,and after all,we feel achy and tired after a quiet weekend dont we..so i' m glad i had a good time!
Phyl,the docs in general just want compliant patients..and i listened to a radio programme where doctors were saying theyre under pressure from the drug companies to get us to take statins etc..so they are relieved when we just swallow what they hand out ( the irony being,they have nothing to offer us for CFS! Or if they have,it's too expensive so we can't have it )
Anyways hope all is going ok for you and yr DD,Phyl,and Beano,hope you n the girls are doing good. How is Ebay? Fambly over fr Canada now? X

So glad you had such a wonderful time with your DD Candy! Its just so horrible that you have to, and you just know you're going to feel grots the next day.

I feel really guilty that I haven't been on here for a while. I guess I've become rather obsessed with getting my shop up and running smoothly and spend huge chunks of the day on the computer trying to improve my listings. Its going well too with lots of sales. Am looking forward to Christmas now! I was going to attempt to have a stall at our Christmas Fayre but I just think that will be way too exhausting. Feel very fragile at times. As though I'm 80!

Looking forward to my darling sister's visit. She won't arrive until Sunday afternoon and then she leaves (with my parents) for Canada on the Tuesday. That's going to be a very sad day indeed.

Hope you are both doing well today. If I don't visit this site, doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you!

Bean

Good to have our oldBeano back
So sorry yr sis isnt here for long......you'll just have to make the most of it while you can...x
Are you and parents still thinking of moving to Canada?
I helped out at our Table Sale last yr and the year before - never again - too much to do in preparation,then a long stand behind my stall,then all the dismantling afterwards...so i dont recommend it.
Youve been and are still so busy EBaying,i think youre sensible planning NOT to be at the Xmas Fayre ..glad Ebay going well for you x

Hi,just a quick note to say I'm still here. Having a major flare and having a lot of trouble with my eyes at the moment, so having trouble reading. Thanks for introducing your daughter Candy. Looking forward to getting a chance to visit. Beany, good to see you!
Have to stop now, but wanted to say, love you all. Will see you soon. Phyllis

Phyl @MountainMyst..glad to hear from you but so sorry you're having such a rough time xxxxx

Thought you might find some of these suggestions useful Beano @nursebeanand Phyl @mountainMyst
"I love To-Do lists. I depended on them when I was working outside the home. I’ve depended them since my bed became my office. The one difference is that, pre-illness, I had fancy notepads and appointment books in which to keep my lists. Now I scribble them on any random piece of paper I can find.
A few weeks ago, I realized I could benefit from a Not-To-Do list that would remind me of my limitations—limitations I often ignore either because I’m in denial or because I want to please others. Unfortunately, I always pay the price physically, and that’s not good for me mentally either.

So here’s a Not-To-Do list for those who live day-to-day with chronic pain or illness (or, as is often the case, both).

1. ) DO NOT say “yes” to an activity if your body is saying “no.”

I’ve ignored this Not-To-Do so many times that I’ve lost count. It can be so hard to turn down an activity that makes me feel more like a healthy person. When I break this rule, it’s as if I’m a child again, shouting at my parents: “Look at me! I can ride a bike with one hand!”

My most recent “bout” with ignoring my body began innocently enough about a year ago. Two friends were kind enough to coach me in learning Qigong. I learned movements with wonderful names, such as “Against River Push Boat” and “Huge Dragon Enters Sea.” Then came “Ancient Tree Coils Root.” You imagine that you’re a strong tree, sending roots down into the ground. Unfortunately (for me), you execute this by pointing the tips of your fingers toward the ground, putting your weight all on one leg, and then squatting down on the knee of that leg.

For the first few months, I ignored the “one leg” instruction. I stood on two legs and only squatted down partway. I was listening to my body. But one day, I decided I wasn’t progressing fast enough, so I picked up one leg and went all the way down on the other. My knee went “crunch” and, for several months afterwards, I was limping and had knee pain to add to my daily symptoms. Why did I ignore my body? I was frustrated by my limitations and so I rebelled. Lesson learned though: DO NOT say “yes” to an activity if your body is saying “no.”

2. ) DO NOT call yourself names or otherwise speak unkindly to yourself.

Here’s an anecdote from my book How to Be Sick:

At a retreat in the 1990s, teacher Mary Orr told this story:

She was in the middle of a harried day in which she had too much to do and too little time in which to do it. At one point, while in her car, she realized she was talking to herself in a way she would never talk to others. I don’t remember her exact words, but I remember their impact. They resonated with me because of their similarity to the way I often talked to myself:

“How stupid of me to take this route; it’s always full of traffic.”

“I’m so dumb, I forgot to bring my notebook.”

“You clumsy idiot—you dropped your drink again.”

Mary’s story was a wake-up call for me. I’d never call a friend “dumb” or “stupid” or an “idiot.” But I’d called myself those names. The Buddha said: “If you search the whole world over, you will find no one dearer than yourself.” I decided to take his words to heart and so I began to treat myself as if I were a dear friend. The result? I felt so much better, as if I’d shed a tremendous burden—the burden of self-judgment.

A good test for whether you’re treating yourself kindly is to ask if you would speak or act that way toward a loved one in need. If not, don’t speak or act that way toward yourself. It’s hard enough being sick and in pain. There’s never a good reason to add negative self-talk into the mix.

3.) DO NOT try a treatment just because someone said it cured him or her.

I have a theory about many unconventional treatments. Depending on a person’s condition, it’s possible to spontaneously recover from an ongoing illness. Some people do. When that happens, they attribute their recovery to whatever treatment they happened to be undergoing at the time, no matter how unconventional it was. The reason I think my theory is credible is that I suspect I’d do the same thing were I to wake up not sick tomorrow morning.

So don’t assume that any seemingly magic cure is for you. Do your research, consult with those whom you trust, consider your pocketbook. I like to check my tendency to jump at treatments (I get emails almost every day telling me to try this or try that), by reflecting on how, if this really were a cure for my dysfunctional immune system, it’s highly likely it would be all over the internet on sites I’ve come to trust.

4. ) DO NOT wait until the last minute to get ready for something.

Waiting too long is an invitation for a surge in adrenaline to get you through. If you’re like me, that draining sensation of “coming down” off adrenaline is the first sign of a crash. When getting ready (showering and dressing for an appointment, picking up the house for visitors) try doubling the amount of time you think it will take.

5.) DO NOT strive for a spotless living environment.

Corollary: DO NOT feel bad or criticize yourself for not striving for spotlessness. That would be engaging in unkind self-talk and it’s already on your Not-To-Do list.

6. ) DO NOT “shop ‘til you drop.”

That’s for healthy people.

7.) DO NOT wear uncomfortable clothes.

Your body is already struggling. Don’t subject it to restrictive panty hose, tight jeans, high heels (of if you’re a man, whatever the male equivalent would be). Exception: If there’s a special occasion that will give you a mental lift if you break this rule, break it. But remember your reasons for breaking it, so that you don’t slip into negative self-judgment if those too-tight clothes start to chafe or those fancy-looking shoes begin to hurt.

8. ) DO NOT think about pleasures from your pre-illness life, freeze them in time, and assume they’d be as much fun today.

Even if you aren’t sick or in pain, life is in constant flux. Among the healthy, relationships change, job conditions change, bodies change. I’m going to write about this soon in a piece I’ve tentatively titled, “Do You Suffer from ‘Good Old Days Syndrome’?”

What would you put on your Not-To-Do list? I’m looking for more items to put on mine, so please share your thoughts with us.

You might also like my article "8 Things I Miss Most as a Result of Chronic Pain and Illness."

© 2013 Toni Bernhard www.tonibernhard.com

Thank you for reading my work. My most recent book is titled How to Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow.

I'm also the author of the award-winning How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tur ... or-in-pain

Another article by same author x

Just wanted to say hi , am looking fwd to reading back through when I'm able - really sorry to see there are others struggling on here with CFS, but have met some of the nicest people in my life online as a result of the illness, so at least we have internet these days and know we are all in the same boat Hope your week is kind to you all xxx

Hi everyone, Candy, thanks for posting the ToniBernhard articles. She has some really great observations on the "joys" of this illness.
I used to have to do lists, very long and never finished. Now I have got done lists, very short and often consisting of, got out of bed, brushed teeth, etc. LOL
I like the idea of don't do lists. Right up my street.

Elc80, welcome!!! I'm so glad you joined us, so sorry you have to be experienced with with this darned illness. Looking forward to hearing from you often.
Hope everyone is having a great day. Sending you all a long distance hug. Phyllis